The Stoic Norwegian is On the Way!
On January 28th, my husband will go to Haiti for 10 days to perform surgery on the victims of the recent earthquake in that country. It is impossible to imagine what he will encounter when he gets there. Haiti was…
Lockdown: Two Procrastinators Join Forces to Slay the Snapping Alligators
Everyone procrastinates; some do so rarely and others battle it all of the time. For some MBTI personality types, particularly the ENTP and ENFP types, procrastination is omnipresent. For these types, there always seems to be a monkey on the back or an alligator snapping at the knees waiting to be addressed. That is because these two types have extraverted intuition as the dominant cognitive process. The ENTP and the ENFP are always scanning the external environment for something more interesting, amusing or new. The brain is literally lit up when a new experience is present and conversely, it is lulled to sleep when an old task has to be completed or is excessively repetitive. People procrastinate because they can’t find the focus to do what needs to be done. In the world of a dominant extraverted intuitive, possibilities present themselves almost constantly with procrastination being a natural byproduct of these distractions.
Now what happens when an ENTP type and an ENFP type, two professional procrastinators get together to get work done? Here is the amazing story of Lockdown 2010. I am an ENFP and I had work that had been hanging over my head for 6 weeks. My friend, an ENTP, had a project that had hung over her head for much longer than that. We both knew that we would feel the sense of accomplishment once it was done. However recall, taking something off the “TO DO” list isn’t necessarily the driving force that spurs a dominant extraverted intuitive into action. It’s the newness. The fun. We can start off with the best of intentions but easily get sidetracked by something interesting to read, lunch with a fascinating companion, a new project. Anything is better than dotting the “i’s” or crossing the “t’s”. We knew we had to make it fun.
The Magnificent Mr. O
Every so often, I get the opportunity to enjoy a meal or a cup of coffee with former patients and clients. Not only do I like to see how they are doing but it feels like I am visiting with an old friend. 
Today I saw the Magnificent Mr. O (due to privacy laws I can’t reveal his name but the “O” stands for optimism) who clearly has had more than his share of trials in life. In his late 20’s, he was diagnosed with a lymphoma requiring surgery and radiation to his neck. The resulting scar tissue caused his carotid artery to narrow so at the age of 44, he suffered a massive stroke leaving the left side of his body paralyzed and his doctors skeptical that he would ever walk again. Along with that came cognitive deficits that impaired his ability to return to his job as a top executive in a large company. After taking not one but two major hits in his life, it would be understandable for this man to give up and accept his limitations. But the prospect of being unable to walk or return to meaningful work was far more frightening to him than the effort and attitude it would take get better….
When I last worked with Mr. O, not only had he learned to walk again, he was preparing to return to his job as an executive. No one would have predicted this, given the level of his initial disability but he proved everyone wrong. We should have known he would surpass our expectations because whatever goal we set for him in rehab therapy, he would accomplish twice as well and in half the time. For example, I remember when physical therapy gave him the goal to walk around the block at least one time during the weekend. When we returned the following Monday, he had taken several 2 mile walks! There were countless times when he did more than we asked him to do and there was joy in accepting the challenge. Although he didn’t particularly like the predicament that he was in, he did appear more alive when he had summon his greatest resources to solve the problem.
Taking A Sledgehammer to My Printer Was Tempting….
There is nothing more infuriating than technology that won’t work, especially for someone born before the age of WiFi, as I was. 
It seems that every time I want to add something to my home office, I find myself asking why it always has to be so difficult! In my day, the only thing you had to worry about was finding an outlet to plug the device into. You never had to ask, “Why is this component not recognizing that component?” Bah!!! Where is my sledgehammer?
I had wanted to purchase a printer for my cozy office nook in the living room. It is an inspiring little corner, with a soothing view, a fireplace, and English Country furniture. It is a quiet place away from the energy of an active family, and a place where no one can disrupt the feng shui by depositing clutter into the workspace. I believe in creating islands of perfectly flowing energy in the home even if some areas are ravaged by chaos. To expect perfect harmony everywhere would amount to nagging but that’s a different topic. So it was this backdrop of flawless serenity that called for a printer that could be hidden in an armoire with no cords to offend the eye.
How was I to know that setting up a cordless printer was going to be so challenging? I figured all I had to do is unbox the device, push a button and the wireless laptop would immediately pick up the signal giving me the full office experience with the atmosphere of a retreat site. No such luck. As my friend and I struggled to make the appropriate adjustments (since my friend was a man, we were not allowed to read the directions), I finally suggested that we go to the Hewlett-Packard on-line “Tell Me How This Works Before I Destroy It ” technical assistance site. Reluctantly he agreed and an hour long help session ensued. Basically, this was the gist of the conversation:
Vote, Pay Taxes and Delight Your Wife
On the Minnesota Test for Diffferential Diagnosis of Aphasia, a test used to measure language skills after a stroke or brain injury, one of the questions elicits a short language sample: Name 3 things a good citizen should do. The best response I ever received was, “Vote, pay taxes and delight your wife.”
Gene M. was one of my first “official” patients after I completed my speech therapy training in 1986. He was receiving treatment for liver cancer but a stroke unexpectedly added to a growing list of health problems. Even though he died 23 years ago,he remains one of my favorite patients of all time. When I met him, I was captured by his personal energy, and among other attributes, his incredible grasp of the 3 pillars of conscietious living: vote, pay taxes and delight your wife.Here is what I learned from Gene about each one of these:
Vote: We all had the privilege of voting for a new president this past November. Gene thought it was “crazy” to pass up the opportunity to be heard. Likewise, he felt it was important to support whoever was in office regardless of personal political leanings. He knew the names of all of the presidents and he never scoffed in disrespect about any of them. His personal favorite was Abraham Lincoln and by the time we finished our therapy relationship, I had read 3 large books about Lincoln all from Gene’s personal “presidential library.” He had a reverence for the Office of President that would be considered absurdly out of style by today’s standards. While our new president, Barrack Obama is enjoying considerable popularity now, I would not be the least bit surprised if some faction seeks to discredit him before too long. In fact, if I may borrow one of my late grandmother’s famous sayings, “Why if (Gene) were alive today, he would be turning over in his grave” if he knew that all Presidents these days eventually end up in some sort of scandal, real or made-up.
“Cut That Psychology Talk, Will Ya?”
There is a stereotype of a therapist, psychologist, or maybe even a life coach that conjurs up the image of a long-winded, “I Feel Your Pain”, pseudo-empathic character. Or perhaps it feels less “confrontational” to be oblique rather than blunt. Well, there has been a time or two when I have been caught using psychology fluffy-speak…..
So my girlfriend and I were driving from Michigan to Arizona where I was about to take my first job out of graduate school. Our second overnight stop was in Shamrock, Texas, a dusty little town on the Texas panhandle. After a long day of travel, we collapsed into bed; it had been a grueling day. However, just as I was drifiting off to sleep, my friend hissed, “Ann, something just crawled across my foot!” to which I replied, ” Go to sleep. You’re nuts.” But she persisted, “No I am serious!” We went back and forth several times with her insisting that something was in her bed and me dispelling any possibility of it. Rather than get out of bed and check her story, I finally replied, “Martha, I believe that you believe that something is in your bed….” Well, that made her rear up in bed and exclaim, “STOP THAT PSYCHOLOGY CRAP WITH ME!!! SOMETHING IS IN MY BED!” ….. (At the end, I will tell you whether something was in her bed or not…)
My Fabulous Rainbow Puppy
It is not merely a cliche’ that one must look for the rainbow after a rainstorm.
Once upon a time, a perfect little smooth fox terrier puppy was born in California. Her spectacular face was half-black and half-white; even one eye had black eye lashes and the other had white ones. She was lucky puppy who got to fly first-class to her new digs in Minnesota (a family friend brought her home with him after a business trip). “What a gorgeous, perfect puppy”, everyone on the plane remarked.
Piccadilly was a smart, spunky, and agile dog. She quickly learned tricks such as jumping through a hoop, playing dead, and rolling over. She could leap from chair to chair as easily as a squirrel jumps from tree branch to tree branch. Her family said, “She is so smart, clever and athletic that we should make her a circus puppy. Maybe she could perform at half-time at an NBA basketball game someday!” Her family had seen other dogs perform at half-time at the Target Center so they had big plans to take her to agility school so she could learn all of those nifty maneuvers.
Then one day, something terrible happened to this perfect fox terrier. It started out as pain in her right paw. Within 12 hours, it had progressed into full paralysis on the right side of her body. Piccadilly was suffering from a spinal cord stroke (an FCE, to be exact). This once nearly perfect show quality dog laid on her side, panting and unable to get up. Her doctors said she would probably never be the same and they warned that her course of rehabilitation would be extensive. Was she worth keeping or was it best to just let her go?
Why You Must Work Hard in High School by Andy Czajka
I had a life coach once upon a time. He was my coach long before life coaching became an actual profession. He wrote me a life-changing letter that I have kept in a fireproof safe for over 30 years. I want to share it with you now:
March 16, 1977
Dear Ann,
Why should a father want his daughter to get the best grades she is capapble of achieving? I suppose that some fathers want their daughters to perform well in school so they can say to people they know…”Isn’t my daughter something special? She’s pretty; she’s popular and she’s very bright! Look how well she’ doing in school!”
But fathers who push their daughters to perform well in school simply to brag to their friends are, themselves, not very bright! Afterall, it’s really just an act of God if a daughter happens to be pretty or popular or athletic or bright. Why should a father take credit for that? And, in a broader sense, wouldn’t a father be a rather shallow person if he had to live his life through the accomplishments of his children?
But my reason for wanting you to do as well in school as you can is totally different. I want you to learn all you can and get good grades because, by doing so, you will improve the quality of your life. In other words, I want you to work hard for your benefit, not for mine.
You know, when girls reach their teens, many of them begin to feel their fathers are rather dumb. Fathers and sometimes mothers, are often looked at as being old-fashioned, not very smart, and certainly not in tune with what’s going on. Afterall, fathers are pretty old guys whose own teen-age experiences happened a long, long time ago. And since fathers were never girls, they certainly cannot be expected to know what is really important to a young lady today. Perhaps you feel that way too—it’s only human nature that you do. Let me tell you that as you look backwards ten years from now, you will have an entirely different perspective.