I had a life coach once upon a time. He was my coach long before life coaching became an actual profession. He wrote me a life-changing letter that I have kept in a fireproof safe for over 30 years. I want to share it with you now:
March 16, 1977
Dear Ann,
Why should a father want his daughter to get the best grades she is capapble of achieving? I suppose that some fathers want their daughters to perform well in school so they can say to people they know…”Isn’t my daughter something special? She’s pretty; she’s popular and she’s very bright! Look how well she’ doing in school!”
But fathers who push their daughters to perform well in school simply to brag to their friends are, themselves, not very bright! Afterall, it’s really just an act of God if a daughter happens to be pretty or popular or athletic or bright. Why should a father take credit for that? And, in a broader sense, wouldn’t a father be a rather shallow person if he had to live his life through the accomplishments of his children?
But my reason for wanting you to do as well in school as you can is totally different. I want you to learn all you can and get good grades because, by doing so, you will improve the quality of your life. In other words, I want you to work hard for your benefit, not for mine.
You know, when girls reach their teens, many of them begin to feel their fathers are rather dumb. Fathers and sometimes mothers, are often looked at as being old-fashioned, not very smart, and certainly not in tune with what’s going on. Afterall, fathers are pretty old guys whose own teen-age experiences happened a long, long time ago. And since fathers were never girls, they certainly cannot be expected to know what is really important to a young lady today. Perhaps you feel that way too—it’s only human nature that you do. Let me tell you that as you look backwards ten years from now, you will have an entirely different perspective.