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The Mysterious INFJ

A critical step in the reliable use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is verification of type through a dialogue between the individual completing the inventory and the practitioner russianinterpreting the results.  After receiving the results, the client will read the description of the personality type, in the aggregate, to determine if it is  largely accurate.  In my experience, I have found the INFJ  notoriously difficult to type.   Even after the verification step, the INFJ  can be uncertain that this description fits. It isn’t due to shortcomings in the Myers-Briggs  questionnaire.  It is mainly due to the rarity and complexity of the INFJ type.

Exact percentages vary but the INFJ, the rarest of the personality types, is said to account for 1-2% of the overall population, females slightly more often than males.  The INFJ has been called “The Mystic,” “The Counselor,” and “Empath”.  They are described as  original, gentle, caring, and highly intuitive. The quality of extrasensory perception, or ESP, is often attributed to them. People who have known INFJs for years continue to be surprised when yet another layer of their complex personality is revealed.  As a result of their inferior sensing function, they can be stubborn and obsess about an inconsequential detail , usually when they are under stress. Their ability to see the big picture can be affected during these times. INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they  are so genuinely interested in people — a product of the auxiliary feeling function they most readily show to the world (Introverts show their auxiliary function, or the function that supports the dominant function, to the world first). Still, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or mate.   Yet, INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out those closest to them. This apparent about face is  necessary, providing both time to rebuild their energy and a filter to prevent the emotional overload that can happen as they deeply experience other individuals.  This is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders particularly if experience with this type has been limited.  I have 3 INFJ’s in my life, my brother, my daughter, and my best friend and I can attest to the fact that they are like Russian nesting dolls, when one doll is exposed,  another one lies inside.

The INFJ has a curious mix of psychological preferences that both serve them well but also create almost constant dynamic tension.  The first of these is the tendency to desire closure and timeliness battling with an even stronger preference to keep generating more options and perspectives (N vs J).  This can lead to a feeling of being confused or disorganized because even as an INFJ is trying to complete something on time, new ideas keep appearing which try to displace that which has already been decided.  One of my earliest recollections of this in my daughter was when she shouted, “Mom! Help me stop this video in my head!” An INFJ may begin a project or a paper and find themselves operating under a time crunch not because they are disorganized, but because they have yet to call a truce between their imaginative mind and their need for closure. Hence, an INFJ may report a preference for “P” or perceiving characterized by working best under pressure, keeping an open schedule, and allowing events to unfold when in fact this behavior is not preferred but  is a byproduct of the battle between an internal brainstorm and the need for closure. The upside to these opposing forces is that the INFJ, having an awareness of what is happening, can consciously turn off the debate, and enjoy a rare combination of creative thinking and follow through. An INFJ wants both!

Another interesting nuance of this personality type is the feeling preference combined with introversion.  As feelers, INFJ’s are focused on people: listening to them, encouraging their growth, and honoring their unique qualities. Many INFJ’s are counselors, ministers, and teachers.  They are often in the forefront of significant movements to change the world.  Famous INFJ’s include Eleanor Roosevelt, Martin Luther King jr. and Nelson Mandela. They are often actors and comedians such as Adam Sandler, Carrie Fischer, and Jamie Foxx.  A preference for introversion merely means that the individual has to retreat into the mind at some point, to recharge energy.  Introverts, particularly those who have a people oriented feeling preference (INFP, INFJ), can and do extravert well but when the battery has been drained, such individuals may abruptly withdrawal from the scene. The jewel in this dynamic though is that as introverts, these individuals also tend to be observers and can therefore experience people at a deeper level, identify the ironies in life, and combined with their rich imaginations, dream of a more ideal world than the one that exists today.  As far as verifying type,  the  I versus F  dynamic might result in a reported preference for extraversion.  Another possibility is that the richness of their feeling experiences may feel overwhelming at times so they rely on thinking to manage their thoughts and emotions. Hence a “T” preference may be reported.  This complexity can lead to confusion on the part of the INFJ during the type verification process.

A logical question at this point might be, “Why is it so important to know one’s type?  An INFJ might mistype as an INFP, INTP, ENFJ, or INTJ. The brief answer to that is when type is known, one can better understand cognitive strengths and make choices that will make use of an individual’s greatest gifts.  Type identification can also uncover blind spots and illuminate reoccurring sources of frustration in work/school situations, communication, relationships, and identification of overall life purpose.  For general information on the value of psychological typing,  please see my link at:

One additional point I would like to make.  Type development is the key to uncovering the potential of any type.  In order to do this optimally, it’s important to build resilience and mental muscle. Why? Because our brains have been doing the same thing for a very long time, so we need new pathways. Adding new connections require heightened self-awareness and mental muscle.  If you’re interested in leveling up with your INFJ personality, I offer a program that combines type development/ self-awareness coaching and mental fitness.  Here is a short video on how I can help you maximize your mental fitness.

LINKS: Want to learn more? Please go to the Positive Intelligence website to explore your own mental fitness. Take the  Saboteurs  and the PQ Score assessments. Both are free and are full of information!  After that, schedule a complimentary consultation with me to go over your results. Mental fitness is a key component of any coaching that I offer because it is so critical for optimal results. I look forward to helping you on this journey toward mental mastery.  I offer an INFJ discount.

This Post Has 215 Comments

  1. I wish I could tatoo this post on my forehead, so people could understand me better … Great insights here! Excellent! KOH

  2. Hey Ann: You are a great role model….showing the ‘how’ of reaching your own ptential while guiding the rest of us. In my mind, a definition of a ‘teacher.’
    Keep on keepin’ on…you have my rapt attention!

  3. I never fail to have that surreal since that someone has been following me around recording what I do when I read this INFJ description. It takes my breath away and this particular explanation of the INFJ just knocks me over. It’s virtually a point-by-point record of my inner life. What I’m looking for, however, is insight regarding the effect of a physical handicap on one’s personality. I deaf and have been for most of my adult life. As the description indicates, I kept straining toward iNFP (and bits and pieces of other temperaments) but INFJ seems to always yank my chain.

  4. Thank you for your comment, Ray. I would be interested in hearing more of your thoughts on being an INFJ and also being deaf for much of your adult life. You may have noticed that I have 25 years of experience in speech-language pathology. I have wondered how (and if) the onset of a significant disability like deafness or a neurological event such as stroke or head injury affects psychological type. Please continue to share your comments or you can send them directly to me at Thank you!

  5. Ann, thanks so much for this article. There’s no way to tell you how much it helped me. Without going into the details of my life (you probably hear that enough!), I was the only 56-year-old person I knew who had no idea what their own personality was, except I knew I didn’t seem to be like anybody else. But now I know. When I read your description, it was the first time in my life I saw words written down that resonated with my inner feelings and struggles.

    Thanks again.

  6. Mary Beth- The INFJ personality type is rare (1% of the population) and also very complex. I imagine you are often misunderstood and even confuse yourself sometimes! I encourage you to keep trying to learn more about how your mind operates. Life coaching and further reading are two effective ways to do this. My perspective is that the more one has insight about his/her psychological type and how well he/she uses it’s gifts, the more satisfying and productive life can be. Self-improvement comes from self-discovery. The most important point though is that since you are 1 in 100 and therefore do not see someone similar to yourself very often, the least effective way to gain insight is by comparing yourself to others. Please drop me an email, call or leave another comment if I can help you further and thank you for your kind words!

  7. Paul- I would be interested in knowing if you took the MBTI Step II (Form Q) instrument or if you took Step I. The Step II will help identify preferences within a type that are not typically associated with that type. I wrote a blog about this earlier called, “Birds of a Feather: Similar But Not the Same” There is now a Step III instrument that is a coaching/counseling instrument based on type development concepts but is presented in layman’s language. It is new and I am fortunate enough to be one of the first to be certified to use it (only 40 or so of us in the world!). Thank you for your comment. You sound like an interesting and complex person. I would love to hear more from you!

  8. Firstly apologies for the awful spelling and meaningless words above. It was typed on my phone!

    Also it comes across as being conceited, hey I am successful and all that. But my point was to show that if anyone is an infj (or whatever that means) then things will be OK. I have been looking at people who say they are infj on youtube. Mostly teenagers or in their 20’s they seem a sad, lost little lot and I really relate to them.

    I was the same then. I spent many angst ridden hours alone. People would say to me come on mate it may not happen and I would go what??

    But once you relax into yourself and accept yourself it will be OK.

    I did the form Q, I do think there is a danger of over analysing and stereotyping yourself though so it’s only a guide I think!

  9. Great insights, Paul. An INFJ can be very self-critical at times and the advice to relax and accept yourself is good. It often takes time for individuals to be comfortable in their own skin and even more so if they are complex like the INFJ. I am glad to know you are using your type well!

  10. Hi, I am an INFJ and have been working at a job for about 15 months now in which I am part of a team. I am really struggling with different aspects of this. First, when we have team meetings and everyone is throwing out ideas or suggestions, I find it difficult to take them all in and to get my own ideas out. Another thing is that I prefer to work alone at times and will try to find a quiet space to work. People I work with don’t understand this. I have been under a lot of stress lately at work because I can’t get enough time to work in quiet or by myself. I have been looking for another job but feel that I could have the same problem elsewhere. I think I need to change and so does my boss, but I don’t know how and just the thought of trying to become something I’m not is exhausting to me. I hope this is not confusing.

  11. Drop me an email at or Give me some more information about the nature of your current job, your age etc…I might be able to offer you some specific suggestions. Even though I am not an INFJ myself (I am an ENFP), I do have 3 INFJ’s that are very close to me: my daughter, my best friend, and my brother. I appreciate the rare gifts that someone like you brings to the world but like cutting a diamond, it’s necessary to know how to draw out those qualities without disrupting the integrity of the gem itself. I hope you write back!

  12. As an INFJ, I am curious about your interactions with the 3 INFJ’s in your life. I wondered first if they tend to be very unaffectionate, and also how often do they withdraw or avoid that you notice? I have never spoken with another INFJ and I know that it hurts my family when I unexplainably do this to them. Those closest to me know my tendencies and I think they have somewhat of an understanding of this pattern I have. However I’m actually trying to push myself out of this avoidance that comes easily over me to show more love to others. My husband is an ENFP and he is by contrast very affectionate and verbally affirming all the time! I dont always respond to this and usually I dont have a reason for it! I realize how it affects him. I dont express myself with affection or words of affirmation well, but in the few moments that I do, he says that he cherishes them all the more just because he knows I dont share unless I truly feel. 😛

  13. My daughter, who is an INFJ, would do “the disappearing act” by withdrawing suddenly leaving people to wonder if we offended her or if she was upset about something. Many times, an INFJ won’t even know why they left the scene or suddenly became crabby. However, having the self-awareness that this is simply a need to recharge one’s INFJ batteries helps to smooth it out. An effective strategy is to remember to use “transitional statements” such as “I’ll be back in a bit! I need to recharge.” Or use humor, “I am normally a warm and charming person but I need to hang out in my head for awhile.” Sometimes you can’t retreat and I have advised INFJ’s to try to anticipate those events and be ready to be challenged! As far as expressing affection, remember that INFJ’s feel comfortable with the written word. Use your creativity to leave post-it notes or interesting text messages. My INFJ brother sends me odd ball random text messages and it’s always a highlight when I get them! Remember that you are a treasure chest full of love, imagination, and uniqueness. While you don’t have to leave the lid wide open all of the time, at least keep the chest unlocked!

  14. Hi Ann,

    I just discovered your post here and I think it’s really brilliant. I wanted to briefly share my experience with you, if you’d like to read about it: I first learned about the Meyers-Briggs in high school (I was 13) and took it and scored as an INFJ. I wasn’t satisfied with my result. I took the test probably a dozen more times and came out pretty consistently as an INFJ. Every year I take it again, and rarely deviate from INFJ. (Does this sound familiar? An INFJ with an identity crisis?) I took it earlier this year and came out as an ISFJ, which I settled with happily even though I knew somewhere in the back of my head it wasn’t quite right. (I think I admire ISFJ’s and want to be like them).

    Your daughter saying to shut off the video in her head reminds me of myself recently- I started writing a book because this idea popped into my head and it’s completely taken over my life. The characters talk, day and night, and write the book faster than I can get it down on paper. I’ve never felt this much like a tortured artist before, but now I understand what it feels like! I’m completely obsessed with writing it, but my husband doesn’t even know I’m writing a book (poor guy!) Talk about a layered personality….

    I find the “ESP” part of being an INFJ sort of peculiar. It’s not that I haven’t experienced it- on the contrary, I experience it pretty much every day- but there are sort of two parts to it. The first part of it is being able to sense people’s emotions and intentions, and the second part is kind of about getting into someone else’s head and understanding them sometimes better than they understand themselves, which I usually don’t tell anyone about because I tried it on my husband and he gets freaked out every time. Ha ha, the fun of being married to an INFJ!

    Please take care,

  15. Thank you, Sarah, for your insightful comments. The INFJ personality type is a very special gift. It is very complex so sometimes it can be confusing and yet the potential for making a powerful and unique contribution to the world is very real. The fact that an INFJ type is 1 out of 100 in the general population does make it difficult at times to understand oneself because there are very few role models, which can be especially critical for young INFJs. They do tend to benefit from relationships with extraverts who encourage them to open up their treasure chest of talents and insights for the world to appreciate!

  16. Hi! I’m 13 and am an INFJ. I took the test recently and was amazed with the results. It’s so like me. I ge picked on a lot for being socially awkward and neve knowing what to say. I’m also very quiet at times but loud at others. People never understand me and label me as weird. I also just see something and a story begins to write itself in my head. I can never have the time to write it all down though! I have been betrayed/backstabbed by many people close to me. I think his attributes to my ability not to trust people. I’ve never had a boyfriend because guys never want to talk to me. 🙁 I’m still trying to figure out what being an INFJ is like. I’m fairly smart (4.0 GPA and read 850+ words a min!!) and again, socially awkward. I really want to teach so I hope I’ll be good at that. Regarding the ESP thing, I’ve had that. I can read people and sometimes feel psycic. I kind of like being a infj though… 🙂

  17. Thank you for writing, Kate. INFJ is a very rare and special personality type but each INFJ is different from another. Your life experiences and education will also determine how you turn out. Since you are 13, you will see different parts of your personality develop and sometimes it might feel confusing. At this age, you are still developing your preferences. Also, sometimes an INFJ type will wait for people to penetrate their “wall” as far as friendship is concerned. Try not to make them do all of the work. Invite them to get to know you with your smile and be as open-minded as possible. Good friendships usually start as acquaintanceships. Sometimes others will seem immature too but try not to judge them. As for boyfriends, you just never know when a good guy will come along. Try to stay active at school and enjoy the company of your friends. If you are working on yourself and being helpful to others, that is usually very attractive to many boys!

  18. I rarely spend much time dwelling on how things can get, being an INFJ. Every being bears their own weight, so who am I to point at myself? But whenever I chance to encounter someone who has taken care to tread carefully in order to understand the hidden parts of a person that’s taken the same care to armour themselves, I falter for a moment and acknowledge that it doesn’t have to be so lonely; I have to be careful not to get too used to the loneliness. It’s so much more meaningful to have one person reach so far in than to have a dozen people lightly skim the surface.

    Thank you, Ann Holm, from the depths.

  19. Hello Ann! I am an infj and reading all of these replys are so scary because alot of them sound like me. You talk about your daughter who does the diseappearing act . I do that all the time! I will leave and not tell anyone . not a soul. I will go away about 100 miles away from where i live so I can recharge my batteries. Another thing.. is I can read people all to well ! I feel like it is a curse sometimes. Sometimes I just want to be “stupid” and not know nothing. Another thing ..I do like anything in written word. I write poems and short stories for fun ! and it comes easy for me. but i dont trust no none and have a wall up and a fence up and crazy enough i am in therapy trying to help me not go insane in my brain! I feel so many emotions its scary! Another thing.. i dont know how to be open when i dont trust. I have been told to many times that i am unappoachable and hard to get to know. and that im very private! How do I get out of my world in my head and somewhat be at leat 1% extrovert?

  20. This was pretty incredible to read. Some things have always been a mystery to me. But I suppose like any classic INFJ, I like mystery so I’m already trying to forget it all. 😉

    As I read this wonderful article I found myself constantly finding these traits in other people I know, all the while feeling uncomfortable knowing that ALL OF THIS ARTICLE describes my moment to moment life… and then secretly feeling privileged… and then feel bad when my friend who took the test was faced with a more “ordinary” type and my feeling so bad for him I try to downplay it and act like I don’t like being in the 1%.. but then goofy for feeling privileged… and then wanting to write a poem or about the whole experience. I also hate beating people in a sport. I like the hard work of winning but I HATE beating them. I’d just assume give them my trophy and move on to the next thing.

    The worst part of being this way is constantly thinking that I have some new mental illness or someone’s personality disorder. Last night I took a test to make sure I’m not a sociopath.

  21. I am a solid INFJ and this article has helped me understand why I’m so burned-out. Do you have any suggestions for regaining inspiration? I’m a writer and WANT to write. I want to make a difference for people ~ but recent events have left me completely drained. In addition I work in the public full time and so cannot catch up on the quietness that usually recharges me. I feel like I’m on the edge of a breakdown.

    Thanks for this website.

  22. Hi Ann! Thanks for your post – it’s great to have new insights!

    I especially liked reading about how combinations of INFJ characteristics can lead to being mis-typed or mis-typing yourself. That explains (I’m an INFJ) how I often wondered if I was an INFP or an INTJ sometimes. I read elsewhere on the net that INFJ’s struggle with their self esteem, so I guess it is easy for us to mis-type as we are struggling to accept the rarity and special gifts INFJ’s have.

    I’m interested to hear about your daughter’s disappearing acts – actually googling “disappearing INFJ” is what got me here – as I do exactly that! I think I am a proud person, so when I am weak I go off alone to solve my problem. That way I can be sure it is MY solution and not imposed/persuaded onto me by some charismatic extrovert. My concern at the moment is – how do I repair the friendships I disappeared from? (They were ESFJ/ ENFJ, INTJ/INTP and ESTJ/ENTJ I think) Have I really lost them forever?

    In the past when I have been ready to withdraw I haven’t had the presence of mind to tell people what i am about to do, and I worry they wouldn’t understand. I’m quite sensitive about this aspect of my personality, and I’m naturally private, so I’m better at telling people when they ask, which is usually after I’ve made the mistakes! Do you know how I can subtly introduce them to this idea / explain to them quite a long time in advance? Do you think joking about it would help?
    Thanks again and sorry for the rambling!!

  23. Paradox… that’s one thing about us… if a person cannot bear paradox in others, they will not appreciate an INFJ.

    The more I know myself, and the more I understand others, the better able I am to accept and even appreciate paradox.

  24. Interesting reading…

    Both my partner and myself test as INFJs, although my partner’s need to recharge is stronger than mine. I am sometimes able to retreat into my head whilst appearing to be “present”, which is often enough. I often end up staying home from social functions because I can get easily overwhelmed by intense and crowded social situations. Most people are surprised that I test as introverted, as I appear quite gregarious.

    Interestingly, my new job requires me to host guests at functions, and be warm and inviting as they are all potential donors. I find it quite exhausting, but enjoy the opportunity to sit down and chat to small groups. All INFJ features I think!

    I think the internal debate of N vs J is interesting – while studying last year, I found there was a point where I would have to order myself to stop researching and reading to give myself sufficient time to form an argument for my essays.

  25. Ali- Thank you for your note. You mentioned you are more gregarious than many INFJ types. You touched on a very important nuance of type theory. Even though there are 16 different types in the Myers-Briggs model, there are many variations within that type. The differences can be captured using the MBTI Step II Form Q. There are 20 facets that are measured (5 within each psychological preference parameter or “letter”) and often you can use one facet to develop another behavior that is more challenging. An example might be an ENFP using curiosity (generally an “N” or intuitive behavior) to become a better listener (more “receptive” which is an “I” or introverted behavior). My daughter who is an INFJ has become both gregarious and more initiating as a result of being a middle school teacher. She still needs her introvert time to recharge and she will ask for it! The brain is adaptable so variances within each type is often seen. Here is an article I wrote on the topic that you might find interesting: . I APPRECIATE everyone’s comments on this thread! Very insightful as would be expected of the INFJ type!

  26. I find it pretty interesting that so many people seem to get mis-typed as something other than INFJ… If it’s so rare, would that not make a person who always comes up as INFJ and knows it fits even more rare?
    I don’t really suffer with self-esteem at all. I’m not sure how much my personality has factored into that though; I think a lot of my confidence and even my extrovertedness comes from my religion. I have no trouble trusting God, (it’s actually kind of a relief to let him handle the things in my life that I can’t control), and having him there as a friend has helped me to keep from getting too depressed, and to keep me talking so I stay social.
    Most of my friends know I’m an introvert because I tell them, (or they’re weird like me and they get it), but a lot of strangers would be surprised. I have a very large circle of close friends. Oddly, I really do try to be close to all of them. I share secrets with most of my friends, and even people I barely know, but I can be pretty selective about which secrets, and how I share them. For instance, if there’s something about me that is secretly tearing me apart when I’m alone and making me feel insane and depressed, I tell people, (usually the ones I know aren’t going to remember it), but I tell it passingly or like a joke. They have no idea what impact it really has on my life.
    I disappear all the time, but only when I know I can. I don’t like getting caught disappearing. If there’s a risk of someone finding me and trying to talk to me, I usually just hide inside my head for a while instead. Usually when I run off, either no one knows I left, or they have no idea where I went. Part of me has even considered running away from home, just because I know I could do it and not get caught. I try not to tell my parents these sort of ideas that I had when I was twelve… it would scare them.

  27. I only learned I was INFJ a few years ago. Since then I’ve been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure and currently and going through a divorce. In a lot of ways my INFJ is working overtime..I test out as INFP but have much more in common with the cousin INFJ.
    Depression comes and goes. Yes I’m taking meds for it . It’s very hard time for this INFJ right now..

  28. Are there any INFJ’s out there who might have some suggestions to or insights for Kenny to draw on his INFJ strength to feel more optimistic and less depressed?

  29. Sorry to hear your troubles Kenny. If you are taking medication for your depression, it might be helpful to read this book: (Anatomy of an Epidemic: Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs, and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America), which explains the danger of antidepressant use. Instead of medication, try to spend as much time outdoors as you can handle; it’s a way of treating the blues for millenia. Finally, an advice I’ve heard from senior citizens about living is that “Time and humor cure most pains.” ( Hope that helps. Thank you.

  30. I don’t know Kenny’s religious affiliations (or if he even has any) but I was depressed for about 3 years and found that reading through the book of Psalms in the Bible was so helpful for me. I think the acknowledgement there of real pain and despair and a God who cares did much for my soul.

    I would also second Cloud’s suggestion of humor and going outside. One needs to soak in a perspective that is different than the overwhelming, all consuming feeling of depression. (But I know you don’t FEEL like doing it!)

    During those three years I also took an online personality test and discovered I was an INFJ. Oh my goodness! that also helped so much…I have just always thought I was weird!! (I am 42 and have felt like that my whole life!) I also found out that I had been dealing with a significant , physical health issue and the treatment did help relieve much of my depression. (Though, I do tend to be internally melancholy quite a bit.)

    I appreciate this article so much. Thank you Ann Holm.
    And, I am so sorry for your situation, Kenny…I am going to be praying you will find peace!

  31. Another effective way to address depression is through meditation. I have a couple of blogs on meditation on this website. Here is a link to a simple meditation to get you started : There are many good CDs on the market that can take you through guided meditations also. Hang in there, Kenny. Also, thanks again to those who add to the discussion about the INFJ type! You are insightful and add richness to this thread!

  32. Kenny, as a fellow INFJer, I think it’s fair to say that warding off depression (be it sourced in disappointed hopes a/o a sense of isolation from and being foreign to those around us) is a regular occurrence over time. I’ve found that I’ve been able to talk myself through (over days if not weeks) a thought pattern than gradually arrives back at the same conclusion every time, which is to say this — I could not possibly be this frustrated / down right now if it weren’t for the fact that I believe so earnestly in the ideal; the improved situation; or the solved problem, and I recognize distance from it in a particular instance or instances. Then I move to resolute belief that the ideal is real and attainable. I ponder that. Finally, I move toconsideration of my resourcefulness and creativity. Okay, I say to myself. You know WHY you’re depressed (distance from the ideal). You know the idea is real and attainable. And you know how inventive and determined you are…. So, you WILL figure your way out of the yuck …. this, therefore, is temporary, and even as I get to the point in the mental self-talk where I identify the temporal nature of my “funk,” it begins to become a self-fulfilling prophesy…. and I even then begin to feel better.

    The entire thought process / meditation varies in length for me depending on how deep in a funk I am and what the ideal is I feel distant from.

    Presently, my job is hellacious and my bosses all very ethically-challenged. It’s DREADFUL. Just dreadful. It’s been a longstanding funk…. I’m taking a long time on understanding WHY I’m depressed…. I’m not yet convinced I know how to get out of t his mess and toward restoration of my ideal (ethical coworkers and bosses; work with purpose and impact; etc.), b/c I’m having a hard time convincing myself in this economy that my resourcefulness and creativity alone can get me out of this one….. so I’m still in that phase of the meditation….

    I think the trick is not to throw in the towel in the midst of the process…. As long as an INFJ is engaged in this kind of analysis within themselves, they’re generally staying in the lifeboat, rather than dangling from the side, one hand off, one hand on.

    Don’t tire of making a visual map of the problem in your head and sorting out the pieces in a way that makes sense to you (what I laid out may not make sense to everyone)… the mapping is part of the making sense, and the making sense is part of convincing oneself that it won’t always be this way…. and that you’re a part of making that so.

    Best, Kenny….


  33. Hello Ann
    Thank you so much for your site. It’s wonderful to read more about INFJ perspectives and experiences. I have known I am an INFJ for about 2 years and it has given me a slice of peace that has allowed me the confidence to be myself, rather than believing I was the odd one in a group. I am, although struggling with an office job and feel I have made a mistake taking it on. It is getting to the stage I am so stressed and anxious and feel incredibly disconnected from my true self ,as I have to ‘behave’ in such a foriegn way to my personality preferences. My previous positions have been in teaching/eduation, which aspects I enjoy immensely but became so chaotic and stressful I burnt out and developed an auto immune condition. As a typical INFJ I need time to recharge, reflect and allow my mind to work its way through the maze of observations and experiences I have taken in. I rarely get the opportunity to do this which to me is so damaging. Do you have any advice, Ann on what to do about a difficult work situation as an INFJ? I am 42. Thank you so much.

  34. Hi LL- Thank you for your comment. It’s always quite a relief when you realize that your type is a gift. The only drawback in this case is that since you are approximately 1/100, you don’t exactly see yourself coming and going so it is possible to feel like the odd man out. On the other hand, that’s what makes you such a treasure. When you are resonant with who you are, no matter what psychological type, you shine like the brightest sun. As far as your difficult work situation is concerned, maybe the others who are INFJ type have some general ideas? One suggestion I make often but for good reason is to start a meditation practice. I have several articles on my site explaining why I think that’s a good idea. Also, the book Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn is a very informative book on stress. You might find it particularly useful because you report having an autoimmune disease too. You may also email me at to chat outside of this thread.

  35. Thank you so much for writing this, it is truly a brilliant description. I’m so amazed at how accurately you were able to describe how I think and the way I react to things, in a way that I’ve never been able to put into words. I’ve often struggled with the INFJ description, but it is so completely me that there’s not really a point in denying it anymore. I am currently a sophomore in high school right in the middle of finals week (yikes), and I’ve been under so much stress. Learning about my type, and how other people with my type cope has really helped me. I’ve had troubles dealing with depression in the past, and I can completely understand how we only let certain people know certain facets of ourselves. I have never told anyone about my depression, and I doubt that anyone has guessed it. I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, which my parents and my best friends know about now. In Junior high, I remember being fairly convinced that I had ESP, but I never told anyone because they already thought I was weird enough. It was pretty strange experiencing it, because I would know exactly what someone was going to say word for word before they said it, and I could mouth the words along with them. I could also “see” something that was about to happen, sort of like an extreme sense of Deja Vu, where I would have some sort of vision/memory of what was about to happen, and either the events would unfold just as I imagined them, or I could consciously interrupt the flow to stop it. It’s still quite a mystery to me, but I think it may just be the introverted-intuition ability to just “know” something, or be able to see the possibilities that were likely to occur. Or maybe it was identifying a deeper kind of pattern, whether in words or actions. It seems strangely funny to me that other INFJs may experience this same sort of thing. Also, I really like the tips about meditation and being outside. Meditation can really help you to regain your focus, even if it’s only for a minute. And simply being outside, or out in nature, always boosts my mood, and can help me deal with any stress that I have at the time. Another tip that I’ve heard works really well for INFJs is exercise. It doesn’t have to be anything big, just going out and doing something active. Even a little bit can really, really help. In fact, anything that lets the stress out would be a really good idea. All the INFJs know, including myself, tend to internalize their stress, which can also lead to health problems. My advice would be to find something to do that you enjoy doing that helps release your emotions, whether it be exercise, music, writing, art, or any other form of expression. I hope you all find peace and balance in your lives. 🙂

  36. Hello Ann,

    I’ve always felt out of place in this world and I knew how viewed society people and life was out of this world. I’m Bachelors of Science student and for one of my classes I had to take the personality test (MBTI) and my results were INFJ at first I couldnt believe it so i retested three times and each result was the same INFJ.

    I just want to thank you for sharing all this wonderful information along with your own personal insight and experience with an INFJ personality type. It feels good to know that I’m not alone with how I feel or even view the dying world.

    Thank you for the inspiration!

  37. Thankyou! This is the first time somone has explained to me in a convincing way why I kept thinking I might be INFP 🙂 I tend to test Ni Ne Fe Fi Ti XXX on the cognitive functions. Another major factor of confusion was creativity: my life revolves around creating things that are personal so I related to the INFP disriptions as well as Ne and Fi.

  38. Hi Ann, I have a question for you. When you are typing INFJ’s or any type for that matter, do you go through the process of explaining the functions to help people ascertain their type? Ex. explaining Fe vs Fi, etc. I’m an INFJ and I love typing people but there has been some difficult ones to type and I resort to going through each function as the final step and it has always worked for me. What has been some problems/issues with typing people, I would love to hear you elaborate on the topic.

  39. These are great questions, T.N. I have a separate category on my blog called “Ask Ann” and I think I will address your question there. The short answer is that I use multiple approaches to verify type and it really boils down to what seems to be working best for the client. I will list some of my approaches in the Ask Ann blog which should be done in the next day or two. Thanks for your question!

  40. I am a infj. My therapist had me take this test in which I tested an infj. I took the test myself numerous times and it reads infj. I think and feel most infjs are a bunch of crazy, decieved loony tunes. Look at Jamie Foxx who called Barack Obama, “Jesus Christ” and is it true that Hitler was an infj among other evil men. Yeah there is a few good infjs, so what infjs are not so special if you don’t fall for some of their crazy ideals. I mean Jane Fonda’s wishy washy beliefs and might I add she was wrong most of the time. Jesus is said to be an infj, you got to be kidding how do they know that. Well I think JESUS was all personality types. Because he is GOD. And the God of abraham, Issacc and Jacob is the winner everytime and will be the winner at judgement. Most infjs are to stupid to know that. And I don’t give a rat’s butt about my spelling.

  41. Thank you for your note, mraidt. Please be proud of who you are. The INFJ personality type is complex and amazing. You are definitely not crazy. This personality type is 1/100 people so it makes you quite unique. If you cultivate your strengths, you have the capacity to shine like the brightest star. By the way, the personality test to determine your personality type is for normal people. Hitler was in no way normal. We don’t use personality type to describe bad guys. Thanks for writing!

  42. This post nearly made me cry. I have taken the Myers Briggs test multiple times, and it was only recently that I scored an INFJ. Like you stated, different parts of my personality (my COMPLEX personality haha) always skewed the results, and I was never quite happy with the results I received. I never felt “at home” with any one of the other personalities. For the past 21 years, I figured that I was just this oddball weirdo who could never fit into any one category, which is a theme that fits in seamlessly with the rest of my life. BUT NOW I GET IT. I am, without a doubt, an INFJ through and through. And I haven’t stopped researching it since I discovered it (of course). Now I have a reason for my weird “organized procrastination”. Now I understand why people look at me with blank faces when I unleash one of my long tirades about something of which I have passion for. Now I know that there are other people who all of the sudden have this overwhelming urge to escape all human contact and hole up in a corner with a book. Some of the things you said, I feel like I’ve thought them before. Like they came straight out of my head, and into your computer. You so eloquently encompassed my complex and contradictory brain. Thank you so much

  43. Lexie- it makes my day when someone connects with this description of the INFJ personality type. Your note was deeply appreciated!

  44. Thanks for the post, it does resolve the confusion about my own personality which have been hiding deep down in my mind for over 15 years. After all, I feel good to be INFJ! =)

  45. Being an INFJ, I’ve always felt like I could never quite figure out who I was. Growing up, my mother always accused me of trying to be like someone else. It was a frustrating battle within myself trying to understand what she meant, because I felt like I was just being me, but I didn’t understand myself either. I love that imagery of the Russian doll–when one is revealed there’s always another hidden underneath. I see now that it isn’t that I was trying to be someone else, it’s that I’m just plain old complicated. 🙂 Even as a child. My husband of 8 years still tells me that sometimes he feels like he barely knows me. Like I’m always keeping something from him. I could never figure that out either until recently, but I’m realizing now that he might be right although it isn’t really intentional on my part. There’s just a lot of layers here and it’s difficult for me to verbalize it all. Totally INFJ, for better or worse!

  46. Thank you for your comment Karly. The other thing is that the INFJ type is present in 1-2 % of the population so sometimes the complexity can confuse others because you are so unique. But it is a special gift!

  47. 😀 Yes! An infj post that people haven’t stopped replying to! Thanks for the read! Wow I didn’t realize that there were multiple steps to the MTBI test. I’ll have to look thoses up When I first took the MTBI test, I typed as an INFP the first few times.I took it again the following year and got INFJ as a result. I thought that I was just more immature when i first took it, however after reading more about both types for the past year or so, I decided that I truly was an INFJ. Every once in a while, I’ll doubt my decision, but reading posts about my type, like this one, has given me reassurance. Thanks again! I have yet to finish reading all the comments, but I was wondering if you had any suggestions on how or what to chose for a career/major. I cannot, for the life of me, decide on a major…

  48. Sorry for the typos. ;^; My phone dislikes long texts and correct spacing between words. =.=

  49. Thank you for your kind words, Sleep Thief. Actually, it is on my list to write a blog about INFJ careers because I have received many requests to address that question. What will fulfill? I absolutely DO intend to write that blog, maybe even this weekend. See I have this personality type called ENFP who sometimes gets overextended and must reign it all in before she can get to the checklist! Stay tuned for that blog on INFJ and careers! A

  50. Love this. My mom’s also an INFJ (passed down to me) and I connect well w/INTJ due to my needing to ‘get’ the ESP she experiences so vividly. I’m sloooowly allowing the F to fully shine, despite it being overwhelming. Knowing it’s common for us to easily burn out definitely helps. Also, love the story about your brother, thanks for sharing that, too.

  51. Suddenly I know why it is so difficult to take these tests! Thank you for sharing this enlightening (and reassuring) peice.

  52. can you comment on the relation of this type or rather the combination of INTJ/INFJ to the HSP (highly sensitive person) issue. It seems that this is very close.

  53. Ann – sdorry for being too cryptic – it just occurred to me that the INFJ/INTJ type (and you described the ‘cross over for the two) characterization seem to cover a lot of ground that is also covered by E Aron’s HSP characterization; I just wondered whether especially INFJ types are more often than not HSPs…has this been studied, scientifically? The science on Myers-Briggs typology also seems rather on the weak side – when it comes to the usefulness to treating illness (but then, much medical science is so too). Thanks. Titus

  54. Thanks for clarifying, Titus. By the way, you have a great name! The MBTI is a tool meant for use in “normal” populations and not anything in the realm of mental illness. Although not scientifically studied, it does make intuitive sense that certain types would trend toward a certain mental illness profile. For instance, someone who has “SJ” preferences that are not functioning well might trend toward obsessiveness, for instance. But we type practitioners also need to know the limits of our assessment and training skills too. Therefore we really try not to venture into areas that we are not qualified to assess even though we might think of good questions like the one you brought up. Thanks for writing!

  55. Thank you. As an INFJ, I can attest to everything (yes, everything) you’ve said here. The N vs. J conflict is a concept I hadn’t read about, but it helps me understand better why it takes me so long to order at restaurants and why I always finished papers in college just before the deadline. I wondered if I might be a P, but now I know I’m just complex and conflicted!

  56. This is the most succinct and least “vague” description/explanation of what I experience daily as an INFJ. I’ve been spending a fair amount of time studying and exploring my own type, as well as learning to quickly determine that of others…which is not only a ton of fun, but also a great deal of help in explaining why I’ve always been so interested in understanding the “Why?” behind the actions of others. I’m a Physical Therapist and spend MOST of my work life primarily in my Auxiliary Extraverted Feeling function and also have developed my tertiary Introverted Thinking (reading, studying etc. theology, social sciences…) almost to the point of preferring that function when I’m not working. I’m not sure that’s healthy and it’s definitely been a hindrance to relationships (friendships and a recent divorce)…can you comment (point me to where you’ve already commented) on your understanding/experience of INFJs in relationships both romantic and platonic? Maybe more specifically…how can I get others to understand me when I rarely feel like I understand myself? And tied with all of that, should I try to expend less energy on relationships at work (patients, co-workers) in order to “save” some energy for my more important relationships – friends, relatives, romantic interests? How? Thanks so much…please don’t feel obligated to answer at length.

  57. Drop me an email at and I will answer your question more specifically. The short answer is that since this type is 1/100 in the general population, your perspective will be very unique. Often we look to others to help us understand ourselves and if we don’t exactly see ourselves coming and going, that can be a difficult strategy. Learn to honor your beautiful uniqueness and others will also. At the same time, sometimes you have to explain yourself. For instance, my INFJ daughter used to “disappear” without any comment when she needed to introvert but then people wondered why she left. Did we offend her? Just learning to say, “Hey, I going for some introvert time (or something like that)”, helped considerably. Relationships are most difficult when we don’t understand the normal behavior of others if it’s different from our own.

  58. Yea you understand us.Well done! You do better than most of us…how do we not make others’ problems ours?I have worked and over worked myself in South Africa…and STILL the cultures fight…lol.I live over seas now and it bothers me DAILY…but I was so over worked I became so sick…I feel guilty for leaving but had to look after myself and still…all I want to do is helping peoole.How do we not feel bad about ourselves when others treat us bad and disrespect us or when we can see thar they dispise us?What can we do about it when others dont like us because they can see we see they are jealous of us? Why is it sooo hard to not to judge shallow people…Im just very honest…Im surronded by a lot of ES personalities…if you didnt pick it up already…lol.Their word cuts through my INFJ flesh.Im not over sensitive at all…ha ha….YES I you want to because the questions are intense its fine as well.Just what you prefer
    Sorry its so intense….INFJ.

  59. I am a developing INFJ that still doesn’t really know who I am yet. I can say for sure that the mask I wear to show the world is a lot less caring about people than who I actually am. I guess no one understands me, and that’s fine. As long as they care enough for me that they want to find out my real feelings, it’s enough for me. Thank you for writing this post, it truly represents my inner conflicts.

  60. Appreciating the time and energy you put into your blog and
    in depth information you provide. It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed material.

    Fantastic read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds
    to my Google account.

  61. I’ve just found this article and it’s a really good read. I’m a 42-year old man who doesn’t really know who he is, although I’ve known I’m an INFJ for a few years. It made sense! I’m at a crossroads in many areas of my life at the moment but I’m most desperate to find a new career as my current job has utterly burnt me out; but it’s so hard to make a change, especially if you don’t know yourself well enough to know what you want. A lot of the INFJ suggested roles do appeal, perhaps unsurprisingly. But my main problem is that I don’t know who I am or what I want, (or that I want to do too much and can’t choose which way to commit) and others do struggle to understand me. So often I feel like there’s something wrong with me because my experience of a situation differs so much from everyone else’s. Thanks for the help.

  62. Paul-
    The first piece of advice I would offer is that your type, INFJ, is rare, particularly among males. While this bestows some very special gifts, you also don’t see yourself coming and going every day. Therefore, role models are less available than other types. For instance, the ESTJ type is a more frequently occurring type so role models are readily available. Often an INFJ type has to do some extra work on the side to make a most of your personality type. Seek to understand yourself. Accept your uniqueness. You may even hire a coach to help you sort through this. The main point is that you are excellent and you can learn to find both fulfillment and success once you understand yourself and not judge yourself. Hope that helps.

  63. Thank you. Very helpful. But do any other INFJ’s find it frustrating to know others so well? I find myself longing to be wrong about people. I meet someone and in just a few seconds I know if they will be good or bad for me, my friends, my son, my employer. Sometimes I shut out the inner voice screaming at me because I want to trust someone even though all my warning bells are sounding. Or I want to like a person because on the surface I can’t find any reason not to like them. But I’m always right. I wouldn’t call it ESP but my friends and family do. I should find it helpful, this sixth sense, but instead I find it exhausting.

  64. Thank you for these articles! I find them helpful and insightful. I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs test many times, yet it’s only been in the past 3-4 years that it has become quite valuable in the workplace and then at home. Finally, someone understands me! Every time I feel odd, confused, overwhelmed etc, I hop onto an all about INFJ/ISFJ page and feel at home. I somehow flip flop between the two.. not sure how ‘The Protector’ vs ‘The Nurturer’ differ exactly, but have had various jobs. I think someone asked about that?
    I started off in high school wanting to become an account (aka a book keeper), but dove into Greek/Roman Classics (history/art) and then became a Graphic Designer. I also enjoy being a DJ, but most importantly discovering and relating to the musicians I find. Along the way, I began to have the most fulfilling of all my ‘careers/callings’, taking care of musicians at events (and running these events). Whether it be 3-4 days or 24 hours, I will delve into this with my heart and soul, sacrificing sleep and energy all for the sake of protecting and nurturing (taking care of) these new found friends.
    I also got into management and social media, which was exhausting. It still exhausts me, although I keep trying to master it. Perfectionism and people-pleasing are my downfalls, and yes, being around intensive extroverts or large social gatherings has me drained just thinking about it.
    I have a very close friends that are highly valued and same with family. I also see in pictures in my head, as someone else mentioned. Can’t shut off the darn movie theatre in my head. If I lose something, I try to visualize it in my head. I can’t do this with numbers, no way. But if I need to see rooms or people or fashion, done.. all in my head.
    Speaking of fashion, not sure about other INFJ’s out there, but I enjoy bucking trends.. find something and love it (before it becomes trendy), become all enamored, but drop it once it becomes trendy. I will dive into researching a trend, piece of furniture, or find a deal, for days and days until presto!.. I find the exact thing I need to find at the price I want. If it’s from somewhere other than North America (the UK or from a big US city – New York, Chicago, Miami), and on sale, all the better!

    I will bookmark this site. Thank you!

  65. Thank you for writing! All of the comments certainly help others of this same complex and rare type, feel that they are understood. You brought up the ISFJ/INFJ types wondering what the difference was. If I could sum it up in a nutshell, ISFJ is more practical and in the moment, sort of like a first aid kit. Service in the moment. It is also more prevalent in the population than the INFJ type. INFJ is bigger picture or future in it’s thinking. They tend to think on a large scale and with a great deal of complexity in their solutions. It is in this complexity that INFJs often feel misunderstood or they have difficulty articulating to others, what they are thinking. Hope that helped!

  66. Aubrey, this is a very important angle on the INFJ discussion. While it is true that INFJ’s can know others well very quickly, their idealist temperament might be a little too harsh at times- In other words, the high standards and vision for a more perfect world might make the world as it is, sometimes difficult to bear. Thanks for writing.

  67. Wow! Extremely insightful. Sometimes my unique INFJ-ness feels more like a curse than a gift, but articles like this make me lean more toward the positive! Thank you so much for spending such effort trying to understand all us INFJ’s 🙂 I’m wondering if you have a rough idea on what percentage of INFJ’s you think are likely empaths?

  68. I believe that many INFJ’s are empaths. If I were going to venture out on this concept, I would say the ability to pick up signals outside of oneself via Fe (extraverted thinking/auxiliary function) and to “connect the dots” (dominant Ni – introverted intuition) would be an ideal combination of Jungian strengths to be an empath. It is a blessing and also sometimes a burden, keeping in mind that there 15 other personality types who have other strengths and therefore may not be as in touch with these parts of themselves, maybe not valuing it in self and others. For instance, some types value logic above all so they might be confused by an INFJ’s empath qualities. However, there is room for everyone on this planet so we can value logic too!

  69. This article describes me to a T and was extremely helpful to me and also comforting to see myself reduced to paper. I’m 61 years old and have had the strong intuition thing as far back as I can remember. I’ve learned to trust it because it’s served me well. Other people don’t get it and at times ridicule me because they think I think I’m special. I’m not. I can’t explain to them that there are things I just know that I shouldn’t necessarily know, but that’s the way it is. When someone gets it, it’s a great relief to me. When they don’t, it hurts me because they don’t understand that this is my normal. The gentle, caring and original parts of me are dominant and I’ve come to finally embrace them. And yes, my relationships with others are paramount and highly valued and if “anything” is off, it causes me great stress and I obsess over it until it’s fixed. Thank you for such a well-written synopsis of the INFJ.

  70. I don’t know if I was initially born an INFJ, in truth my father and younger brother are INTJ. What makes me different? I believe it was the way I was raised. Growing up, people looked at me differently because I wasn’t the same ethnicity or I was different looking, I know it. The world was harsh, and I understood that at a young age. No one would have paid attention to me if I wasn’t a class clown. Shoot, I was the kid who held empty birthday parties. I was an introverted kid who didn’t need close relationships, and I became angry, like a monster with ill intentions. I regret those days. But I found what I’d always wanted, a reason to exist and hope. My personality changed from there, and I believe that’s when I became INFJ. I had been in that pit of hell, and I can understand those who’re in pain and not in pain. I believe this is how figures like Nelson Mandela or MLKJ became INFJs. They were born in a world of hell and racism, it consumed them for a while, but because of their need for hope, they became activists of peace.

  71. Mark C.,

    I am an INFJ and I am also considering going into physical therapy. How long have you been doing it? What setting do you work in? And do you enjoy your job?

    Any feedback would be helpful, thank you!

  72. I completely agree with what you said about mistyping INFJ’s. I have taken the MBTI test numerous times and have come out INFP. There is definitely a flaw within the test. I don’t think INFJ’s are as rare as people have been led to believe. You have to read into each type deeply, learn the preferences/ differences/ cognitive functions to be sure you are typing yourself right. I went to a permaculture retreat a few years ago in Hawaii and nearly everyone there was an INFP. I noticed a significant difference between myself and them. I was not as easily manipulated by the ” group leader” as they were and I also struggled more in group discussions where we would all express our feelings. I have a more scientific approach to people & in analyzing myself whereas INFPs are 100% emotional in everything they do. It is true that INFps are very easily manipulated. At times I found myself labeling how they could be so oblivious & stupid. Of course INFPs are not actually stupid, they have a much higher emotional intelligence then I do. I actually envy their ability to be so forgiving and nonjudgmental. INFPs tend to mirror other people’s emotions whereas iNFjs literally absorb the impressions/ sensations/ energy around them. INFp’s go with the flow more than INFJs who tend to “go with the flow” and then complain about it, lol. Being an INFJ is not glamorous. It’s actually very hard , lonely & isolating, at least that’s been my experience.Granted I also take medication for ADD and depression. I think you need to be in a place where you accept yourself and are ready to handle all the facts about who you are that you rejected for a large part of your life. I don’t actually enjoy being an outsider and keeping my thoughts to myself. I’ve been trying to grow past that all my life by attempting to be more open with others & tell myself that there is a deeper layer to everyone I come in contact with.

  73. Thank you for your insightful comments, Sophie. Especially when one sees enough of each type, as you have, the very distinct differences begin to emerge. My daughter who prefers INFJ used to think she may prefer INFP because of her openness to possibilities (Ni) but she realized that her version of N was internal not external as you see in INFP (auxiliary Ne).

  74. Finally! It all fits now. I never understood why i knew what other people were feeling and the fear i experienced when imposing my self into their space. I still don’t know how i know, but i am not afraid anymore. Simply by being in the moment is enough.
    The LABEL too brings closure, and relief, and peace….If I understand myself, while others struggle to understand me….That is OK! I get it.

    Good Article. Thanks so much

  75. I am glad it was helpful although I am certain all of the insights from your fellow INFJs in the comments has been just as enlightening!

  76. I really appreciate your blog.It is very insightful and I definitely agree with your INFJ description.As an INFJ I often feel like a chameleon and I noticed people can’t really pinpoint me.Even my closest friends often think of me as an extrovert when I’m 100%introvert.It is really helpful to know that and many other aspects.Perhaps the reason why I often felt smoothered in relationships was because I’m an introvert but people often mistake me for being and extrovert.

  77. Great article.

    I have a hard time imaging Adam Sandler is an INFJ though. His movies are trademark banalities. INFJs usually hate banalities.

  78. You raise 2 interesting points:
    1. I am not sure if Adam Sandler actually took the MBTI then type verified INFJ then shared this information publicly. He may be one of the celebrities that gets typed from afar. I don’t know if he was typed or not.
    2. Not all INFJs are alike. Personal experiences factor in also. Recently, I had 6 ENFJs (type verified) as guest in my home all at once. They certainly had many similarities but no 2 were alike. There was 1 from the UK (male), 1 from the Netherlands (female), and 4 Americans (2 female and 2 male). Quite a mix!

  79. And to point #1- I probably shouldn’t have put Adam Sandler in the article without full verification. It was a “rookie mistake” from my early type career. In an attempt to give examples to clarify, we can fall prey to that! And if you want to read a REALLY interesting discussion about typing “from afar”, there is a Linkedin article where some very experienced typologists talk about Steve Jobs type. I wish I could dig up the link though!

  80. Very precise, have been thinking the same things in the article. The J vs P and the whole struggle with new incoming ideas but wanting to wrap up projects. Oh boy. I have folders full of information, the one I’m working on now has around 16.000 files (1 folder, out of a few). That’s the incoming new perspectives, and I’m eager to make decisions to come to conclusions. Frying my brain lol.

    ” I just wondered whether especially INFJ types are more often than not HSPs… ”

    I am HSP, scored around 285 out of 300 on one of the more official, if I can say that, tests.

  81. ” The MBTI is a tool meant for use in “normal” populations and not anything in the realm of mental illness. Although not scientifically studied, it does make intuitive sense that certain types would trend toward a certain mental illness profile. ”

    One of the main aspects of HSP is sensory overload. It has nothing to do with mental illness. (:
    Some things someone with it can experience are fabrics feeling too coarse, taking in more sounds than the average person,
    being more sensitive to scents, hunger sometimes making one feel extremely weak, things experienced as intense stimuli, I’ve read about having more sensitive nervous systems, needing more time to recuperate etc, other aspects are mentioned but I’ll keep it brief. I think there is an overlap with INFJ because of the taking so much in on many levels, to the person who asked if there is a correlation.

  82. While it is true the the MBTI is indeed an assessment tool for “normal populations”, behaviorally, everything is on a continuum. So for instance, dominant extraverted sensors like ESFP types may appear to some as having ADHD qualities. As for INFJ having a tendency toward HSP, I don’t believe that has been studied. My daughter who has INFJ preferences was a bit uncomfortable in leggings and tights when she was young but she grew out of it. Personal experiences can have a lot to do with how much an individual can become desensitized to sensations. The brain finally decides that information isn’t relevant and it stops attending to it. That being said, the adjustments that individual brains make given experiences is unique.

  83. I took several MBTI tests. All but one said INFJ with high percentages. The later stated it was a bounce between (in order) INFP, INFJ & INTJ.
    My husband is an INTJ and my youngest child is an INFP. So I have studied all 3 types in depth. What I have found absolutely fascinating to me is that when I study the FJ, I am reading my own journals (which live in my head) I went ill for 15 months. Sheer exhaustion, a mis diagnosis to find out it was a twisted vertebrae moving in my thoracic spine. So within that time period, my INTJ husband observed, picked apart and we solved the mystery together. (Thank heavens) Within all our studies, I also spent a lot of time really looking long and hard at myself. I’ve always felt confused unless I had to play the confidence card. Then there was no insecurities. Only then. My brain is a video. Constantly playing, music being written, studies being accomplished and so on and so on. The older I get, the harder it is to fully concentrate while in conversations and I really wanted to understand why.

    I’d taken the Myers-Briggs test before, but blew it off. Never wrote down the results like I normally do for anything I do.

    My husband gets frustrated quite often when I withdraw due to energy overload. And more….ha ha. But recently when I took the tests, I had a mission…..still seeking to understand the meaning of my life, why I think as I do, react as I do…am a chameleon, a nurturer, open to all, but closed even more as they see one persona….

    Through all the descriptions I read, this one you wrote actually brought tears to my eyes.

    Greater understanding has come on this long journey, and I don’t regret a single step.

  84. I found out that I was an INFJ a couple months ago because I searched personality test and found I took the test multiple times and got INFJ all of those times :). My results are incredibly high, 91% introverted, 88% intuitive, 100% feeling, and 76% judging. This article describes me completely, as I have been studying myself for quite some time now 🙂 I am only 14 years old and I already know that I want to be a counselor. I love being who I am because being mysterious is a TON of fun. Nobody ever knows what is going on in my head. Being incredibly shy can be very annoying though, I struggle with butterflies in my stomach all the time and find it hard to talk to people other than my friends. There’s actually another INFJ in most of my classes at school and I’m making it a goal to be friends with her. She mirrors me in every possible way :). Thank you for writing these articles that help people understand us! ☺️

  85. The day after reading this article, emailing myself, so I could later digest the commentaries (succint and relevant) I met a co worker who is also an INFJ. Altho much younger, 21 vs 53, it was validating and an answered prayer. So the discovery process is multifold.Ican attest INFJ are able to work towards a complex community resolution that embraces a greater good for the greater number. Hitch, being percieved as credible. Not from those willing to sponsor or fund the change, but the change proposed for. I have managed to synthesize my career experiences towatds that ideal, as a substitute teacher, I am again, able to share a vision that empathically obtained. HSP, is huge and funerals are not ever to be attended briefly and pardonec at a later time. Your forum and sharing is needed, the only thing left is to endorse. INFJ’s with entrepreneurial mentors to navigate those shark infested waters to make sustainability for us all, a vision of collaboration and shared research.

  86. Thank you for writing. It isn’t unusual for the complexity of an INFJ’s thinking to be misunderstood or at least incompletely understood, at least temporarily. It’s a gift to think this broadly and with the greater good but at times you can feel like you’re alone in your perspective.

  87. I’m so happy I stumbled onto this post from years ago, and I was even happier to get to the end of the comments and see that there are replies from this year! I am an INFJ, and I just wanted to say that the “empathic” qualities have historically been a bit of a struggle for me. In my adolescent years, feeling emotions so strongly became overwhelming, and I’ll admit that I took a detour for a few years and tried to suppress my feelings, separating myself from others until I could develop better thinking/logic skills to balance myself. I am finally getting to a place now where I feel I can be more open and vulnerable again, and I am learning how to let the emotions flow through me rather than clinging to them or trying to ascribe particular meaning to them. I’ve also come to respect the importance of what I call “processing time,” that quiet retreat to sort through the mental debris I unconsciously gather over the course of my day. I really appreciated the comment suggesting that INFJs should not look for insight into our own personalities by comparing ourselves with others, because we don’t necessarily work the same way other people do! So many MBTI descriptions on the internet seem to be copied and pasted from site to site, so it’s always a pleasure to read a fresh post like this. Thank you!

  88. Thank you for writing. Emotions are interesting and it’s nice to see them studied and acknowledged by scientists and businesses who in the past have dismissed their value. That has lead people to feel more comfortable with their own emotions. We need both logic and emotions, not just one or the other.

  89. Thank you, I literally felt that I was looking into a mirror while reading this post! SO helpful!

  90. I’m a female in my fifties. Back when I was young our school personality tests focused on phlegmatic, choleric, sanguine etc. Neither my mother, nor my three brothers were like me at all, and my mother was especially cruel, which continued all my adult life, until I had to cut her off for good. She has said things to me, like, “I don’t know how you ever got into this family, you’re not like any of us”. Relationships with men never seem to work out because I’m giving a lot but not getting fed. Being sociable at work, which always seems to mean participating in meaningless small talk which I abhor, has always been difficult. I’ve always thought I was just a strange or broken person in some way, until I recently came across this personality test on pinterest. Then I googled infj and found your article. Suddenly, the puzzle pieces began to fall in place, and I am so thankful to you for explaining the “why’s” of many inexplicable things I didn’t understand about myself. You have given me the freedom to be confident in who I am, the knowledge to push myself socially when I need to for work purposes, and the recognition that I don’t need to “settle” in a relationship if I’m not appreciated. From the bottom of my heart, and in the first written communication I’ve ever posted on line for the world to see, I thank you.

  91. Marmie- My goodness! I thank YOU for your wonderful note. It makes my day when I find out that my posts on the INFJ personality type have had a positive impact on real lives!

  92. I can not thank you enough! Ironically (yes, I do look for irony), I am a therapist. I first took the MBIT in graduate school but somehow never looked into the percentage breakdowns of the 16 types. It was pointed out to me last week by an engineer. After being called weird my whole life and being described as a walking conundrum, it is nourishing to my soul to realize I am rare, a treasure, like a jewel. I am so tired of people trying to change me. Romantic partners are confused by me and can’t figure me out, beg me to “let them in”. I don’t feel like I am hiding anything from them and consider myself an open book, until people that have been close to me for years (even family) ask me, “Why haven’t I known this about you before?” Oh! I didn’t think it was important enough to share. I am too busy listening to them. I won’t even go into how “the random text” confuses partners or how they don’t understand how I “can just disappear.” One man that I deeply loved, left because he thought he was bad for me. I would do my disappearing act (for a few days) and come back happier than before. He thought he must be bad for me if I had to get away from him to be happy. Finally, I am proud of who I am and not ashamed because I am so “weird”. No. I am the rare treasure that is literally 1 in 100.
    Thank you, again.

  93. I must be the last person on the planet to read about this and learn about it . Finally at 53 I’m reading about myself !! I truly believed I was like no other personalitiy ever!!!!! (tear’s in eye’s).
    ~ Thankyou ~

  94. It must be a rite of passage for some IMFJs to stumble across your page when we hit 42!
    Like so many before me who have commented, thank you for your post!

    Recognising thaf I need time out not because I’m being a snob but that its an essential part of an INFJs wellbeing was a watershed moment.

    I find having a relationship with God also helps. Jesus also made sure he spent time alone in prayer away from the crowds pulling at Him (not saying that He is an INFJ, but I so get why He needed the time alone). To spend some time apart before you come apart.

    Someone also mentioned something about Psalms. I also find that reading through pages of someone else’s angst and pain and how they dealt with anxiety and fear by giviing it all to God (like King David in his worst moments) really helped to lighten the load. That I can trust in God to slay the giants in my life and not to rely in my own strength. That therein is hope that Im not in this alone as there is a Creator who understands the complexities of a human soul.

    That I can trust that although I don’t have all the answers, I know that He does.
    And posts like yours have unravelled part of the puzzle that is me.

    Thank you again. And may God bless you in your endeavours.

  95. Hello Ann from England. In 1988 I did the MBTI test and came out ISTJ, which appeared to suit my business needs. Since then my life has completely changed – new marriage, new job, new opportunities to focus on what interests me most. This has meant a smaller circle of friends and much nature writing and photography. I have just done the test again and have come out INFJ, far closer to the true me. Have I changed so much since 1988, or have my new circumstsnces allowed me to be more honest with myself? Probably the ISTJ of 1988 reflected the fact that my life was going in completely the wrong direction. I wonder what you make of all this.

  96. Hello England. That’s one of my favorite countries, by the way. There are 2 parts to my answer. According to theory, your MBTI type is part of who you are and therefore does not change. However, you certainly do learn and adapt as you grow into your personality so your behaviors can change. Here is an article I wrote about that:
    Meanwhile, your results on the MBTI can change because of how you respond to the questions. That is why it’s really important to go through a type verification process with someone who can help you sort it all out. Sometimes that takes time and lots of conversation and exploration.
    Hope that answers your query and thanks for writing!

  97. I loved reading this! Your insights are so accurate, and when I read the part about having 3 of us in your life, I thought, she MUST be an ENFP. They’re usually the only other types who understand us, and are easiest for us to be around 🙂

  98. […] a Myers Briggs test in Organizational Behavior last winter and learned I am an INFJ, which I just learned more about including it is the rarest of the types. Below are some highlights of this personality […]

  99. Hi Ann… what an interesting page I happened across..62 years young from Australia.. and here I thought, I was all alone in this world.. maybe not after-all.. kindest thoughts to you all. I may share my life further in the future .. Leith

  100. Thank you for writing, Leith. I am glad the article and the comments from INFJs from all over the world made you embrace your unique gifts!

  101. A really useful insight Ann thanks for the post. I tend to fluctuate between INTJ and INFJ so I suspect my working life in finance but my personal life (my wife is an INTJ therapist / counsellor – makes for wonderful dinner time conversations!) do sometimes lead to interesting outlooks on life and work. It is and will remain a fascinating subject and I wonder if I was always this type as a younger man – I suspect not but I’ll never know!

  102. I am going to forward this article to my friend… She just text me last night asking what she did to offend me… I feel bad, I haven’t spoken to her in a month. We use to be roommates, I use to see her every day. It was difficult to keep her away from me. I had my methods. She got kind of obsessive… She would call my phone 16-20 times a day!! I just turn my ringer off. Now that I’ve moved, I avoid her much easier, but I feel bad. Obviously not bad enough to call her back though… On another note, I find when it comes to “things of rarity” I seem to be the “rare” one in most of those cases. For instance, my numerology life path # is 33 the last of the master numbers. In it’s description it dances well with being an INFJ. My blood type is one of the oddities with me it is unique to the point that my blood can help all other types, yet no other can help me. I am a left handed person, who has elements surrounding my birth West is Air East is Fire Twin Fire Dragons! My ruling planet is Mercury. Refers to the mind and how fast it works. As fast as mercury rotates around our Sun! My first name in it’s truest form is one I have never heard another have! I have researched it. It took DECADES to find a meaning. No one has given any truthful indications about HOW I ended up with such a unique name. Mage and Magus were the only ones to shed any light. They agree it hails from the Acashic records, both groups also say they are “forbidden to say it” my life 41 years… Has been strange to put it mildly. INFJ is just one of many indicators that I am far, FAR from “normal” I do have a close relationship with what the rest of the world refers to as the “Subconscious” mind or self. I do not see this “part” of me as being “Sub” in ANY definition or sense of the word. I correctly refer to “it” as my SUPERIOR Conscious. It KNOWS Far more then I do and teaches me DAILY. It knows and SEES things I can barely wrap my mind around. It stays in communication with the superior consciousness of other humans all around me. MOST people seem to be OBLIVIOUS to their Superior Conscious, and the communication that happens between them and others even though it is happening right inside of their own minds!! Amazing. I apologize for rambling. This subject always stirs a deep level of self-observations, contemplation, reflection, and even deeper awareness… Especially when it comes to “relating” to others. Even within a group of “weirdos” I seem to always be the Weirdo inside of the Weirdos! ~×(^. ^)×~ Thanks for reading this! Sincerely,

  103. I want to say thank you for this article. I am 45 years old and for the first time in my life, felt a sense of validation and understanding of who I am. I literally have tears of joy rolling down my face as I write this, knowing that I’m not alone, there are other people who experience the same conflicting thoughts, wants and needs that I do. … sometimes within the same hour, day. The need to be alone and recharge is real!! Wanting to be in a relationship with someone who also wants to be alone…. I thought I was the only one who had such a crazy notion! Reading your words and the comments of others has given my heart and soul such a calm feeling and sense of hope, I had to let you know and say thank you.

  104. I shed a tear when you described with sheer intricacy the range of emotions that a male INFJ like myself would go through on a daily basis. Then I wiped it away in disgust when I found out you labeled your loved ones INFJ. Like, bias much? TLDR bro peace

  105. Hi Ann,
    This was a great article to read and wonderfully positive. I’ve taken MBTI a few times in my life with a variety of results, this last time I was identified as an INFJ. Your explanations of why mistyping INFJs occur resonate with me. I’m drawn to people until I’ve had my fill then I want nothing to do with them.
    My strongest example of ‘ESP’ was when I was pregnant with my children. I found I mimicked their personalities while I carried them. With my son; I was calm, controlled and analytical. My daughter on the other hand; I was picking fights and more stubborn than usual. Have you heard of this before?
    Thank you again for the great uplifting and insightful article.

  106. So spot on regarding the difficulty of time management and also the inner tension between the different components of INFJ. I experience this with work quite a bit and was wondering why. I do think your analysis is accurate – at least for me personally. I’m glad I came across this; thank you.

  107. I’ve never heard of the test until Pinterest kept pushing into my feed. It’s a bit weird for me to think that a website knows me better than I do, or that I am supposed to believe that I am, in fact, an INFJ.

    I took the first test (I didn’t know there were more after until this page) and it pretty much slapped me in the face.

    I had no idea that I was the only one. Maybe it’s because I live in a resort city, but other people have a hard time hearing me when I explain something. Maybe too deep of an explanation as they listen to me me in bewilderment.

    I thought I was just a loon before finding this page… heck, I may be, but this page made me feel so much better and really helped me identify almost everything that I thought was ‘wrong’ with me.

    Thank you for putting in the time to help us, Anne.

  108. Thanks for writing! I love your term “a loon.” You can certainly feel that way sometimes when you’re 1/100! Next time someone looks at you like you’re nuts when you talk, smile and say ,”should I rephrase that?”

  109. Wow, this is amazing. Explained perfectly. I have been trying to find out what’s wrong with me. And reading an real life example from someone who understands. Is so heartwarming. Grateful.

  110. […] The INFJ has been called “The Mystic,” “The Counselor,” and “Empath”.  They are described as  original, gentle, caring, and highly intuitive. The quality of extrasensory perception, or ESP, is often attributed to them. People who have known INFJs for years continue to be surprised when yet another layer of their complex personality is revealed.  (Ann Holm, “The Mysterious INFJ”) […]

  111. I never ever thought I would find someone let alone people who understand me. To have this knowledge 30 years ago would have been simply life changing. Thanks to all for sharing it gives me strength to carry on my journey.

  112. I thought I was crazy and alone because I knew I was not a part of the social norm. I was very abused and scapegoated my whole life resulting in me pursuing many fields of therapy.. With this in mind, my sense of idenity was warped within fluctuating from attempting for validity through thinkong I must be a bit awesome or having some sense of delussional gradiose projected propiety. I also felt as if some grand evil was certainly plotting against me suceeding, which is still the case, if I where to have a grand destiny. However this kind of idealogy and philosophy is veiled in by a possible truth revolving through Jungs archetype imagary involved with unconscious awareness projected meanwhile forever being attempted intiation by the adept. Ok just off the top of my head….by the way. That sh#t freaks me out. way cool.

  113. Truth be told, I am typed as INFP on most occasions. However, I always resonate with the thought process and behavior of an INFJ. What you said about the sense of being disorganized and getting confused with the ideas that comes to their head and what they should do. Plus I learned that the Feeling functions of those two work differently: INFP being Fi and INFJ being Fe. I’d respond in Fe more than half the time. When making decision, I’d often think of what would go well with everyone hardly caring for what I wanted for myself.

    The ESP thing is very random to me. When I try to think too hard to predict something I often miss it but if I don’t then I get it right. Sometimes it goes on a very random conversation like the other day I told my cousin what if I make baked Mac or spaghetti next time, then less than 10 minutes later 2 different neighbors knocked on our door and gave us each. (My cousin looked at me surprised cause we just had that conversation). Sometimes I think of wanting some food very randomly, only to find it on our fridge later cause my mom bought it. The most recent was last week my cousin asked me what gift she should give to her friend and I told her an idea, which is something unusual, and did more than half of the work to make it (not that I mind cause she claims she has shortage of creativity and I’m a perfectionist). Then just minutes ago, I received that her friend is so happy cause the gift we made is exactly what her friend is wishing to receive for his birthday.

    That’s about it. I’m still a bit unsure what my personality really is but for now, I guess I’ll just have to make do with the fact that I can relate with both.

  114. I am new to understanding this personality trait. It fits me perfectly. It helps to read more about it. A lot of times it has felt like an odd curse. I have many times been called “Extroverted” for the many things I speak on publicly. When approached individually however, and told this I am internally shocked they would think that. It is understandable, but a personal hit. I don’t view a small picture either. It is maddening when coupled with many talents. Which outcome is my thought process. And constantly improving each before it is done, yet finding that completed project. Pressure and deadline are an enemy and a friend. Finding a path with this has been a challenge. Some say I am a loser, others successful. I have come to the conclusion to “Lose Error” has a certain goal in itself, minus perfection. I want to know more. I am close to halfway in life, give or take the variables of accident or longevity. I want more progressive longevity in what will impact others in light of a dark world. I am an oddball. Wierdo. Labels where when I am told this, no one can give any definition as to why or what specifically they refer to. They say the same thing “It’s just you.”. I feel the pain and joy of others. I take in moments of life like drinking a crisp drop of dew, knowing it will pass, but ripples through my memories of innocent simplicity. I look to see if others miss this beauty. I cannot fathom anyone not loving others as I do, but I have empathy for them knowing they have hurt so deeply they fear it. No obsession, just patient understanding. I have no concept of betrayal. I mourn when anyone has been hurt by any action I may have contributed to. It isn’t normal. It is just who I always have been. I write, paint, sculpt and I am a Preacher. It is actions I take. I take precautions in others lives knowing they ripple and effect others. Their hearts matter. I see outcomes.

  115. Hi, firstly I’ve realized that this is an old thread that has recently been receiving more messages, with a reply,and I’d like to thank you for that. I know I could basically just ramble on here about my experience from reading the piece, but I would like to ask question with regards to the personality types.

    Too give you a brief background. I did the test written and online a few years ago and have done so annually, every time getting the result of ENFP. I am aware that circumstances and life in general has a effect on your personality sweet spot, as I for one see it as a continuem and not set in stone. This however for me was always ENFP no matter the year nor the circumstances.

    Lately I’ve made big changes in my life, like quiting my job and finding a space that I could value my own time more, but still be able to live comfortably. Hence the reason I moved countries and became an English teacher.

    To come to my point, I’ve recently redone the test and that’s the reason why I’m on this webpage.

    I want to explore my own mind and reason without limits, I’ve always wondered why I strive for equality. I feel that it’s the reason that from an young age I would make friends with people that were not treated as equals.

    What does this mean to me? Am I on the continuem, or is this just a phase and I’ll find my sweet spot again as an ENFP?

    I am more or less satisfied with my E and I side’s, but it’s the perceiving and judging parts that brings me some confusion. Could you please share your experience about this since you are an ENFP living with INFJ’s.

  116. I am not entirely sure what you are asking. Let me take a stab at it though. How an individual personality manifests is both a product of nature and nurture. So for instance, an ENTP, who is pretty free spirited and resists order, might join the armed forces for the adventure of it and then develop habits around structure that aren’t typical for ENTP types. These overlays are learned behaviors that enhance our personalities. The MBTI Step II is an instrument that can sort this out. For instance, an ENTP like the one I mentioned above would be known as a methodical ENTP. Its normal to have your type present itself in a myriad of ways and have the environment affect what you are seeing. Hope that helps! Thanks for writing! Please clarify your question if this isn’t what you were getting at!

  117. Thank you for your article, and congrats on the longevity of this dialogue. I have taken the MBTI test online and don’t think I’ve ever not gotten INFJ, regardless of the site. So, either I am an INFJ or sites want people to think they are rare (I am not an expert). However a few years ago I took personality and IQ tests during the interview processes both at a hedge fund and consulting firm. At the former, I was asked to come back and re-take the test, although I don’t think they disclosed the type, I got the impression I received an INTJ the first time and an INFJ the second. I was asked, how could I function as an introvert at my job (selling and consulting). Observation to me is that work has probably trained me to some degree. A colleague tells me she has also “migrated”. I look at this positively as people can change, if they work at it.

  118. Thank you for your comments. Yes this thread has been going for quite some time. I don’t think I will ever close the comments because I just keep learning more and more from the people who share their thoughts! By the way, no doubt you learned behaviors outside of your instinctive nature. That is the goal for all of the types. It important to be grounded in your type and flex outside of it when necessary!

  119. I am very impressed by the fact that these comments have continued on for over a decade. I do enjoy finding new websites and new perspectives on the INFJ type.. every now and then I find something new and it opens up yet another door and another angle to pursue. Thanks to everyone for all the comments, and thanks to you Ann for providing this space and sharing your wisdom with the world. It has felt like the only way for me to live is to continue to grow internally and find my own way forward.. otherwise, the only way I can go is down.

    “… they also show this pattern when tackling an unfamiliar, novel problem and or envisioning the future. All areas of the neocortex are called to action to realize an answer. The answer is often complex and difficult to explain.”

    Sorry to pull in another article, but wow, this is so perfect. I will be looking more into this as well. Thanks

  120. Hello, I would first like to say I’m very thankful that this thread has been open for so long. Reading through it really helps me to feel not so alone after all. I’m sure I could sit down with you and talk for hours, as I’ve never felt understood in the 27 years of my life thus far.
    I remember taking the personality test multiple times through school, and in college. I’ve always gotten INFJ, but I never knew it to be so rare, and in my eyes, special until this year. I came across the statement that only 1% of the population is INFJ.
    It really makes me wonder if maybe this is why I’ve had so many crying sessions in front of the mirror, and with a select few people where the words “I just feel so different inside. Like no one will ever understand me.” Have came from my lips. Even while writing it, it makes me cry.
    Maybe this is the different that I’ve always spoken of and felt, but never knew how to explain.
    Your description in this article is so very eye opening, I wish I could’ve come across it sooner.
    I’ve always had such a huge longing to be able to sit and talk with someone that would understand me. That would be able to help me understand myself and help guide me through things.
    I have a very sad past, but I’ve basically been alone in the world since my mom passed away when I was 14. I’m not sure what her personality type was, but she was the closest to understanding me than anyone.
    I just wish I could have someone to help me understand myself and help guide me in life.
    Thank you for reading, I really needed to vent those feelings.

  121. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Calla. Losing your mother at 14 is tough for any type but it would be particularly challenging if you felt she was the only who understood you. Being uniquely original is both a gift and sometimes a bit of a burden. Please write back if you have further thoughts to share with your fellow INFJ clan!

  122. I knew I was INFJ, I did not know what it meant! All sounds spot on and your post has opened my eyes to a few things. I will read/ learn more, thank you!

  123. INFJ here, and yes my brothers always say if I were an investor I’d be a billionaire because of my ESP qualities. Oh well, who needs all that money 🙂 Anyway, thank you for the post, I gathered a lot of info including the tension you speak of, which explains my current disease that I’ve mostly reversed, but some work to continue (fibromyalgia etc). The answers I found are all on the site which explains quite magnificently what INFJ’s go through and why we may end up with disease more readily. I would urge any INFJ to read through or at least bookmark it, as they are more likely than other personality types to end up with “irreversible” disease. And if you don’t believe me, read more about TMS 🙂 (But note that irreversible is in quotes! Don’t ever believe the masses!)

  124. Hello Ann! So, I am an INFJ from Nigeria. It’s coming over here!! Africa and specifically Nigeria has a lot of MBTI Sensors, a lot!! And so little intuitives! I find it hard to cope! Everybody thinks the same way. You are expected to fit in. I don’t know what to do! I find myself pretending to be someone I’m not in order to be accepted. But I know I am deceiving myself. I am 20, and my mum thinks I am her worst child. I cause a lot of trouble because I don’t like to be cheated or abused. But the Nigerian society believes in Physical abuse from parent to children. They call it corporal punishment. But I feel like I am an adult and I have a right to say I don’t want to be hit. But speaking up against one’s parents is a taboo in our culture. And I find myself doing just that. I speak up for myself a lot so I land into a lot of trouble. I am the troublemaker in our house as I don’t conform. I do what I want. But I am having a hard time coping. It’s not easy to fight for myself. It’s exhausting. But I have to fight. For my own well being. What do I do to cope in Nigeria. We have strict cultures over here!

  125. Nigerian INFJ- Thank you for writing. As you can see from so many of the comments, INFJs can feel a little different in the world. When you are only 1/100 in the population, your unique view isn’t readily understood. What are ways that you honor your uniqueness? I am also sorry to hear that corporal punishment is part of your society. I can’t imagine hitting a child. The thought of scaring or hurting any child (or animal) makes me cry even if I think of it. I can’t even imagine the look in someone’s eye when that happens– It gives me a lump in my throat. Hang in there and do the very best you can to honor your special self. You have much to offer the world.

  126. I have, and continue to encourage fellow INFJ’s to find a way to channel their thinking. (For what it’s worth.) I was counselled for schizophrenia in the early 80’s, because the empathetic abilities of the INFJ were so sadly misunderstood back then. Nobody could comprehend my understanding of 12 different standpoints all. . .at. . .the. . .same. . .time. But, it’s what we do. It’s a curse, if you don’t know what to do with it. A blessing, if you can figure it out.

    I had a successful career in radio, and now hobby-level voice act, as there’s a connection to emotional levels that most people can’t grasp. Others that I know paint, roleplay or find another way to channel the abilities that are inherent to the INFJ. The most important thing, I believe, is to focus on the positive aspects of the gift, but recognize the flaws. With great power comes great responsibility, right? Choose to use. . .

  127. Appreciate this explanation of the confusion for the typing. At various times I typed as INFP and INTP, as I was very introverted thus having a strong preference for Ni, a perceiving function. and being so introverted also relied heavily on Ti. As I became more comfortable with the world, and also didn’t live somewhere that felt so dangerous (Detroit) the extroverted side of my INFJ’ness started to come out. I was never really satisfied with the INFP and INTP descriptions, and finally found “stacking” to help guide me to INFJ, suddenly I was reading descriptions that were largely about me. It’s good to have the backup and another view on why there is typing confusion for the INFJ.


  128. Thank you for writing this Ann. To write something like this and have it impact people 10 years later is nothing less than spectacular. I was first introduced to the MBTI exactly 10 years ago while living half way around the world. I vaguely remember taking a test and being told I was an INFJ. Unfortunately, I buried this information deep down inside me and for some reason refused to explore it further. Until last night… I went to a party for a dear friend of mine, and yes I left the party early with an energy level of -25%, but while I was there someone reignited the memory of this personality test. To make a long story short, I took a version of the test again and boom… INFJ was staring at me right in the face again. However, this time I am listening. It is absolutely uncanny reading your description of myself with such great detail yet never having known or met you. I honestly didn’t think it was possible but I do have a feeling of being understood. It is comforting yet despairing at the same time. Nevertheless, thank you for your work here. If you have any insight, resources, or general advice for someone like me, I would greatly appreciate it. I am in a sensitive transition period in my life and any help would be most welcome.

  129. My greatest piece of advice would be to read the comments from the other INFJs. They are living a mindset similar to yours. At the same time, we do have different experiences so they will factor in to who you are too. Second I would remember that since you are 1/100, you may sometimes feel that no one quite gets you. Sometimes that will be true because of the rarity of your type, especially in men. The key though will be to know when your perspective is the most important in a given situation. It’s similar to the journey of a superhero. There is something unique and special about you and your quest is to learn how to use your power, when to use it, and when to do something else without feeling unsatisfied, or frustrated when your special gift isn’t needed at the moment.

  130. Ann,

    Thank you for this article. I’ve only recently tested and discovered I am INFJ and it has been quite the ride. I’m 28 and I’m working on my third year of therapy. Unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life starting as young as 5 y/o, and it’s been difficult for me to navigate myself as to who I am/who trauma has shaped me to be/who I want to be as I grow and learn. My therapist has said that I’ve always lived as three different ages, my number actual age, old soul, and then younger than my age because of when I stopped growing, and due to trauma at a young age, started surviving. My curiosity is to whether my INFJ was shaped at all by my trauma or if possibly my INFJ contributed to my trauma. From my understanding of my self and what I’ve come to learn in the past two days I think my INFJ made my childhood traumas worse. A safe example to offer, when my brother passed away when I was 8 y/o. My father never was emotionally supportive or really present and my mom “needed” more than appropriate friend support from her friends. So, I made my mom tea every night, stayed up with her until midnight, rubbed her back while she cried, ect. My mother came to depend on me. I don’t remember her asking me to do it, I’ve always picked up and held things for people whether asked or not. Therapy has helped with that, I’ve learned boundaries and for the most part play by the rules even when it’s hard. I’ve been working incredibly hard to relieve my depression that I’ve never not known having and learn how to take better care of myself. I appreciate any thoughts or opinions you may have to offer, thanks!

  131. It’s hard to say how everything fit together. I do think our type becomes a style that we use when we encounter life’s events and life events also shape how our type unfolds. Much of the time, it’s difficult to untangle how each piece became part of who we are. I think my advice to many people would be to untangle what you can and then move toward making your days good ones after that. Certain types are certainly more introspective and want to understand everything. My fear is that sometimes our need to understand the past keeps us there.

  132. This post was so helpful! I recently found out I’m INFJ as well (i wanted to be sure so I took several tests from different companies and all gave me the same result). Everything was spot on.

    Your brother’s comment at the end gave me goosebumps and made me tear up! That’s how I see the world and how I talk. I’ve never met anyone like that. My friends and family seem to roll their eyes, laugh or say I’m too sensitive when I speak like that. Or when I have a feeling about something.

    It’s too bad our personality is so rare. I would love to have a friend who is the same type and truly gets me.

  133. Hi Ann. I am infj and have known it for most of my 65 years. Six month’s ago I tapered off and stopped taking SSRI antidepressants after 13 years. I have discontinuance syndrome now and it has mega amplify every aspect of infj. I only leave home now if I have to and I keep it as short as possible. Every sad thought makes me cry, I can’t stop thinking, can’t sleep, and lots of anxiety

  134. I just recently found out that I am an INFJ and the journey has been rough. I often wondered why I always felt different. I didn’t do well in team environments and a lot of times I shut myself out of social situations. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and still do. I look forward to a better future and often think about it. A lot of people say I’m unapproachable and I tell them, that’s not true. I’m just thinking and assessing in my head. I can meet someone and in the first 30 seconds I can know a lot about their character. I base this off how I will deal or intermingle with that individual. Most people call it judging. My mind just works like that. I try to be delightful but its not me and I often find myself tired and just wanting to be alone.

  135. INFJ types seem to have a warm personality but can also confuse people when they go into their heads suddenly. Sometimes there is no transition so it’s important to “warn” someone that you are tuning out for a spell!

  136. I am sorry to hear that Rex. Weaning off of any medication after long usage can be really a struggle. You might benefit from Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, a proven method to help with anxiety in particular. It’s based on the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn and may be worth exploring.

  137. It may be a truely INFJ thing to say but I really wish I could explain how I funtion to other people. Some call me an “old soul” or come to me for advise because of how I thing but the hardest thing ive ever had to experience is not being able to reveal how I do or feel the way I do. If anyone could help me please respond, I would love to know.

  138. Hi, Ann – your description of the INFJ is really spot-on for me, and I have come back several times to read it again and go through the comments. I found out a few months ago I am an INFJ after taking several tests that all came up the same result and was really astounded out how well it described me. This new understanding made me happy and for some reason makes me feel so normal. I am not shy at all and had always mistakenly assumed that introvert = shy. At the same time, I am not outgoing, although I can be if it is about something that is very important to me. A long time ago when I was in college, an older man I knew only briefly said I was like an ascetic, that he could imagine me sitting on top of a mountain just thinking about things. He was right, and I never forgot that assessment.

    I am a lawyer (not a litigator, but the type who gives advice in creative businesses, some of which has meaningful social purpose) and get a lot of personal satisfaction out of helping people get to a good place.

    I need alone time to recharge and usually get up an hour earlier than everyone else in the house to have some quiet time for myself.

    I love to read and would rather get lost in a great book than a great TV show.

    Like one of the other posters about 9 years ago, I have stories in my head and have written 2 novels (the second of which I actually published and never told my wife about, because she doesn’t think it’s a good use of my time).

    I have some form of ESP, like you describe. It is too embarrassing to admit to people, so I never talk about it. But, it is so interesting to me that it is sometimes associated with INFJs. The description of your brother calling in that way (and expressing the thoughts that he did, which are the exact type of things I think with my own baseball-playing sons who are growing up so fast) is the type of thing that happens to me all the time. I will think of random people from my past who mysteriously resurface by phone, email, or in person. I have read about pre-cognitive events and think I have some form of that and I started writing them down last year when they happen.

    I think my wife is an ESTJ. I tried to get her take the test, but she thought it was stupid, so I took it for her and answered it the way I think she would answer (we have been together for 25 years), which she found annoying, and the results came up ESTJ. The funny thing is, we have joked in the past that she is a lot like the character Claire Dunphy on Modern Family, and I have seen on other websites that the Claire character is definitely an ESTJ. We had an instant connection and attraction when we first met. We have had a lot of tension in our marriage over the past 10 years or so (as my wife has been consumed by motherhood, which she is great at and super dedicated and organized). I feel that she is very controlling, and I bristle when anyone tells me what to do. She thinks I am remote at times and way too sensitive when I complain that I don’t like being told what to do. I know it sounds petty, but it causes me a lot of resentment and to mentally check out. If you have any suggestions on how an INFJ and an ESTJ who were once very happy together could get our mojo back, I am all ears!

    Thank you for your article and your website!


  139. Thanks for writing Daniel. The first thing to look at is temperament. You are an idealist (NF) and she is a traditionalist(SJ). Idealists are dreaming of future possibilities and complexities. Traditionalists are trying to get things done. So it doesn’t surprise me that your wife is very involved in motherhood, probably focusing on making sure she teaches the kids “how to” get things done. INFJ parents are more about “know thyself” and understand the world. So the core focus is going to be different. There is a lot of value in having both perspectives in your family. Often NF individuals are looking for the deep connection with a mate. I know I was looking for that initially. My husband is an INTJ (theorist) so his temperament is different from mine as I am an ENFP (idealist). What I found freeing was that we are incredibly well-matched as teammates. I was more of the free-spirited, give life and extra squeeze, kind of gal and he was all about results. If they only had me, they would be a bunch of hippies. If they only had him, they would be neurotic, hyper achievers. Yes, he still irritates me early and often. But I do realize that our family benefitted from our relationship. Over time, that became the cement that made us closer. So in short, it was a shift in my thinking that helped. Hell would freeze over before he would take the time to really ponder this dynamic but at least I could shift it!

  140. Dear Ann, I just spent the past hour reading comments from INFJs & your insightful responses to them. My daughter, who is an ESTJ, strongly suggested that I along with other family members take the Meyer-Briggs Personality Test. I tested out as an INFJ, my son is an INFP & I am married to an ENFP. So many questions are being answered by considering the personality dynamics between myself and other family members. One of my sisters who is one of my closest friends is an ESFJ.

    I grew up as the oldest of six in a very disfunctional family. My mother was especially cruel and let me know how much she disapproved of me. I always felt like the white sheep in the family. I also didn’t seem to fit in at school. I excelled academically but felt socially awkward among my peers. The close circle of friends I did have really didn’t know my deepest thoughts. My privacy was more important to me than their empathy.

    After high school graduation I enrolled in college as a psychology major. As a sophomore I met with the head of the psychology department about my intention to become a psychologist of the deaf. He advised me that if I was interested in working with the deaf I should consider becoming a teacher of the deaf. I did so and was a deaf education teacher for 34 years. It was a rewarding career choice for me. I found it fascinating how hearing impaired perceive their world and gained so much insight from them.

    Eight years ago I retired to start my own designing company. I currently have five designs registered at the Library of Congress & another registered at the United States Patent & Trademark Office. I am also revising a self-published book of poetry and writing a memoir. This is an exciting and challenging time in my life. I am exploring various ways to use my unique gifts to make a positive difference in the world.

    My heart goes out to your readers who have expressed to you how alone and different they have felt most of their lives. I am one of them.

    Thank you, Ann, for reaching out to those lost souls that are seeking answers to their life’s journey. God bless you. _\m/ MJ

  141. Thank you for your kind words. I do think that individuals who share this same personality type have been really helpful to each other on this thread. It’s never easy to be a rare bird but it does offer immense possibilities if one can be aware of these gifts!

  142. Recently discovered that infj is me. Like someone turned on the lights in a dim room. Thx for the info and insight.

  143. Hello there,

    I saw this post only today. I am an INJF – T and Cancer sign if u must know. I always hear things like I am crabby, I am high headed, I am not a match with anyone in this world. My husband’s fav line is… U r not from this world. U have very diff ideas. No one will understand u… I feel like I am living in a shell… And not many ppl really know who I am… I was in my college when I started a donation fund for the draught, next year there were two similar tragedies and students this time volunteered to another donation drive and wanted me to drive it. I know i can do so much more..but off late life really is getting d best of me..

    I am ranting but pls bear with me. I wanted to share on the ESP stuff as it happens with me… A lot…

    One incident I like to share is…I was dreaming n I see the the plane in d dream change…my then recently deceased teacher is standing now with the younger version of her children is asking me to go and pay the money that was owed. I tell her , I don’t have money on me. She says, go make a part payment…next day, we try desperately to reach their family… (Landline only days)… We got them through after a while. Her husband heard my dream and said, you will not believe where I am coming from… We had not paid d local shop owner due to ur teacher’s health n then death. I just came back after making a part payment.

    All this makes me believe I have something to give…

    Thank you for hearing me out..
    (All d way from India)

  144. This article sent shivers down my spine. I’m doing a lot of self-discovery, trying to grow further. I’m in a graduate program and learned that I’m an INFJ. When I read about it, especially through this article, it was a sigh of relief. Almost like, well i’m Not crazy or weird! I’m just an INFJ! Ha! I’m 35 and I have no real friends. I’m often lonely. I love my husband and he is my best friend, and only really true friend, but even then- he doesn’t know all sides to me and we’ve been together 20 years! I often find myself pouring encouragement, time, energy, caring, etc. into others. I’m always there, I’m the friend who you can call at 2am that will answer. I take relationships very seriously and love with everything. I’m often at the receiving end of listening to another person vent. My number one strength is empathy- so I listen but I often get burnt out. It’s almost like I absorb this negative energy. Then when I need someone- nobody is there. I’m often let down by others who don’t reciprocate in the way I think they should or in just an equal way of what I’ve put into the relationship. So, I disconnect and don’t look back. Perhaps my personality type is hindering me from establishing real connections. It makes me sad and wonder if I’ll ever connect and have friends outside my marriage. I am hopeful, but perhaps I need to work on myself and my personality. Any recommendations?

  145. Since we can only work on ourselves, working on your personality is a good way to accomplish that. “Interspersonal” is one batch of competencies on an EQ assessment. I imagine your empathy (one of the sub categories) is high but perhaps the interpersonal relationships isn’t. That would be one way to start is to look at it from that perspective and use EQ suggestions to improve it. Another might be to set small goals for yourself. You might have a idealistic approach to relationships when in fact that foundation of strong relationships actually start out on a more mundane level. Ask yourself if you are giving the fledgling contacts a chance to gROW? Thank you for writing. I hope this was helpful.

  146. Thanks for writing. I know other individuals who have commented and/or visited this article can relate to what you are saying. Thank you for sharing!

  147. Now this is my moment of esp. and Im not sure if I would attribute it to it being like a sixth sense or something that happened out of the ordinary.
    But I was driving down the road. In my head I kept playing a scenario of me having an emergency on the road. It was like me having an emergency and then planning that if I ever had an emergency I would just quickly pull over and turn on my emergency signals. Two minutes later. My car starts shaking and my brakes feel like they can’t really brake. Exactly how I had planned, not even two minutes earlier, I turn at the side of the road and turn on my emergency signals. I truly don’t know if I knew I’d be having this episode beforehand. Or maybe somehow the universe prepared me for it. (It was on a busy road at night) but I was grateful to have known what to do. It turns out my tire popped (literally) and that’s why my car was shaking so bad. It was a cool/ weird moment for sure.

  148. Oh My God never seen anything describing me like this.
    The never finishing tasks especially school assigment on time; always changing what I wrote yesterday. I am trying to study Law and it is driving me crazy where is my never ending imagination is not really helpful at all. I feel depressed and out of ideas to write or analyze things narrowly which is what the law requires. I want to do the big picture and put my big ideas of world into writing but the narrow analysis of the law is not allowing me.

    Thanks for writing this. I think it is time to quit Law and go back to what I love,: doing policy and thinking about changing the world.

  149. For Kenny: please start praying. Trust me.
    For THE AUTHOR: I ended up reading your article after someone studying me sad I’m an INFJ. I might be. I have all the qualities required. In high doses.
    I would say: we are powerfull, complex honest, kind individuals, can dive deep- (=high burning energy process) then I personally shift on the superficial side, to save me, ready to sacrifice, attracted by ppl in need.
    I understand pretty fast others. See into them.
    Some complain they dont understand me: well I feel I have a cameleonic nature: i can mould easily into something. I can do lots of things. Im not in a way, Im in many ways. I get bored with 1 job. I’m a solution finder. Im best with optimising things, best with understanding and explaining and providing solutions. I was kind of drove towards the teaching side.
    I prefer one stable and in a way, to be able to know what to offer. Otherwise it gets confusing. Althought i believe his an INFJ too, MORE DEVELOPPED than me, so imagine one in many ways hooked up with another one in many ways :)))))) hoping our many ways will align :)))) ROLF.
    This is when we should SPEAK OUR MINDS AND CHAT to align those many ways of beeing, of thinking, of seeing. Otherwise we are screwed. But lately I was talking alone…
    Lots of things to say.

  150. Hello, I just found this post, and am fascinated.

    I took the test a couple of days ago, and tested as infj-t. Since then I’ve been really trying to understand how my personality type normally makes decisions. As I’ve been reading things I’ve noticed how much this is me…. I am 19 y/o and am currently in Belgium on a 2 year long mission for my church. I plan on starting university when I return to the states, and since I was 12 I’ve always had the same plan, but recently my ideas and plans have changed a little bit. Before I wanted to go into chemistry, and now I’m thinking of possibly going into music production and sound engineering. This has been on my mind a lot recently, and even though I have another year here in Europe, it is stressing me out a bunch. What recommendations would you have as far as making this decision and weighing each side?

    Thank you so much.

  151. What are the odds? I have the rarest blood type AB- and the rarest personality type. I wonder if there is any correlation between the two. If anyone has insight let me know something!

  152. Hi Ann,
    I found your INFJ post through Google search.

    I learned my personality type in 2013, I believe. Ever since then, I read, studied, and learned as much about being an INFJ as I could. One of the things about INFJs is their need to rest and recharge. I can come across as extroverted, but I need to relax and recharge alone instead of with people as extroverted people do.

    The feeling aspect of being an INFJ can be overwhelming at times depending on the people and environment.

    Take Care

  153. What I find interesting about INFJ people is how evenly We are dispersed around the World, almost as though We were the glue that holds the World together.

  154. Hi Ann, I took the Myers-Briggs test multiple times a long time ago (or at least, a lighter version of it – the one free on the internet) and came up 3x INFJ and once INTJ. I didn’t think much of it (or realize the importance of its implications then) because I just did it for fun. But now, many years later, I’m starting to realize that my personality type may very well be the reason I feel so cut out from the rest of the world; why everyone seems to feel so little while I feel everything and it just stuns me every time that the people I often interact with don’t see and feel what is so glaring obvious to me. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve reached a point where I am on the verge of giving up on everyone around me who claim to care: family and friends. And if I will be honest with myself, it’s even worsened my suicidal thoughts. I feel so alone, but it isn’t because I am alone. It’s because no one understands because feelings don’t matter that much where I come from. (Sorry if this came out rather melodramatic, it’s just that I’ve been reading articles about INFJs and a lot of it really hit home and explained why I am where I am now – emotionally speaking.) Anyway, thank you for this.

  155. You”re welcome and thanks for writing. As an INFJ, (assuming your free assessment was accurate), you would place a high value on trying to understand others. It’s an ideal for you. If you read about other types, their thinking is dominated by other strengths. Some of us are left-handed and some of us are right-handed, so to speak. It’s a good thing to have this diversity of thought because it brings multiple perspectives to our world. However, what is obvious to us is obvious to us so it’s easy to feel isolated when you’re perspectives don’t seem to have any like-minded individuals nearby. It’s important to keep this fact in mind for else we will forever be stressed in life. Encountering a person who is dominant in logical thinking might make us say “why is he always so harsh?” Or in my case, I tend to be a big idea generator. I might ask why everyone is so uninspiring! Well, sometimes the world needs a new idea and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s hard for me to see that let alone execute my life in that way. But I must as it brings flexibility into my personality. I hope this perspective that I have offered helps. It’s so important to ground ourselves in our type and it’s to our great benefit to build out from there into areas we don’t use easily.

  156. Hi Ann.

    Thanks for you doing this for so many years for helping other INFJ find who they are and peace with themselves.
    I am Korean Canadian 55years woman.
    Still not good to writing English,But, I want to communicate with you.
    Was nurse. Almost become a nun. Many years hospice volunteer..

    Being a INFJ , we all go through sympathy. empathy.telepathy. And even more..

    And, people confuse us (Or even ourselves confuse too).
    Heard from other people Or , Even ourselves question Am I onion like personality? bipolar?narcissist?

    In my age, now I am accept INFJ as tree grow over ground heading to sky and same tree roots grow heading to under ground( sence and sensibility) same time .

    Gap is great …that’s why we confuse ourself and other people confuse us too.
    Sence and sensibility has warm and cold feeling.
    But, now I can accept that is big healthy tree ( that tree’s purpose of life is not perfection but, integrity).

    Black and white tai chi is one whole circle.

    I want to thank you from bottom of my heart and wishing you keep help young INFJ’ s journey of find themselves who they are( we know it is not easy journey . It feels like gift and curse to me when I was young )and accept.
    Thanks Ann.

  157. Hi Ann.

    Thanks for you doing this for so many years for helping other INFJ find who they are and peace with themselves.
    I am Korean Canadian 55years woman.
    Still not good to writing English,But, I want to communicate with you.
    Was nurse. Almost become a nun. Many years hospice volunteer..

    Being a INFJ , we all go through sympathy. empathy.telepathy. And even more..
    And, people confused us (Or even ourselves confuse too).
    Heard from other people Or , Even ourselves question Am I onion like personality? bipolar?narcissist?

    In my age, now I am accept INFJ as tree grow over ground heading to sky and same tree roots grow heading to under ground( sence and sensibility) same time .

    Gap is great …that’s why we confuse ourself and other people confuse us too.
    Sence and sensibility has w

    But, now I can accept that is big healthy tree ( that tree’s purpose of life is not perfection but, integrity).

    Black and white tai chi is one whole circle.

    I want to thank you from bottom of my heart and wishing you keep help young INFJ’ s journey of find themselves who they are( we know it is not easy journey).

  158. Hi Ann.

    Thanks for you doing this for so many years for helping other INFJ find who they are and peace with themselves.
    I am Korean Canadian 55years woman.
    Still not good to writing English,But, I want to communicate with you.
    Was nurse. Almost become a nun. Many years hospice volunteer..

    Being a INFJ , we all go through sympathy. empathy.telepathy. And even more..
    And, people confused us (Or even ourselves confuse too).
    Heard from other people Or , Even ourselves question Am I onion like personality? bipolar?narcissist?

    In my age, now I am accept INFJ as tree grow over ground heading to sky and same tree roots grow heading to under ground( sence and sensibility) same time .

    Gap is great …that’s why we confuse ourself and other people confuse us too.
    Sence and sensibility has warm and cold feelings.

    But, now I can accept that is big healthy tree ( that tree’s purpose of life is not perfection but, integrity).

    Black and white tai chi is one whole circle.

    I want to thank you from bottom of my heart and wishing you keep help young INFJ’ s journey of find themselves who they are( we know it is not easy journey).

  159. I am so happy this blog and the comments shared by the readers has been helpful to you! I never envisioned that it would help so many people gain clarity around who they were but I am gladdened that it has! Thanks for sharing your perspective.

  160. As INFJ on ESP part I’m proud to be able to know what might happen before it actually happened, it happened a lot of times, before, it really creeps me out and on time I told my friend about those things that might happen, she just hit me on the head and ask me how on Earth did I know it. Before my answer is “I don’t know, it just popped out in my head” but now I know! But I’m pretty awkward socially I just don’t blend in with most on the masses I hate being with fake people but totally open in with a few cirlce, I can easily talk to strangers and just listened to them and often open up and create a deep bond which I myself cannot explain at this point, when I talk to people I like them when they are honest and way more sincere, it’s like seeing, hearing and feeling their soul, I don’t usually buy topics with surface deep. We often talk about beyond the surface thing, their deepest struggle and so on and I am also very open to strangers, knowing that I might never see them again, I tell them my stories but I won’t give it all some private stuff are still keep secret. I can easily find inconsistency in reasoning, I’m tack and sarcastic sometimes I hate being bother with same stuff over and over again, I deeply seek connection with others not just humans I often labeled as crazy and weird by others but I just love to ignore them and live them alone, as long as they are not bothering me. I hate being put to same task over and over again. I’m 23 right now and I already switch jobs 5 times, I hate it when my freedom is limited it’s suffocate me. Until now I am still in continuous search for my purpose and drive to understand my self better since people are having a ton of trouble trying to get me. It still surprised me that there are still a ton of me in me. I withdraw a lot from people, and I often have internal dialogue, at first it creeps me out, I know I’m not like the others but who will love me aside from my self, I’m still on the process of self discovery and the more I know who I am the more I love myself. Thanks

  161. A book I’d like to recommend is The Shadows of Type by Angelina Bennet. It’s important to be grounded in your type, whatever it is but also add layers to your personality so you can not only be flexible in multiple situations but also emjoy life more. It’s a great book on type development and it’s benefits.

  162. I tested as an INFJ several years ago. The Meyers-Briggs report I received I found interesting, and useful. I tester told me my personality type was very rare. Your article reminded me of this, and explains alot about myself. I been a very successful engineer/architect because I am INFJ. I am able to take raw data that looks like jumbled and unrelated by others, and create logical data models of it, while others cannot. Thank you for article.

  163. […] INFJs are mysterious, calm, and inspiring. They don’t say much in particular, but if seen, they easily get the appreciation of the people around them. People with the INFJ personality type also have empathy and especially strive for the betterment of others. This trait actually makes them rare gems in their society and interpersonal relationships. […]

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