Prior to beginning my coaching practice in 2009, I had been a speech pathologist helping brain injured clients maximize cognitive skills that would lead to increased competence and life satisfaction.  It was essentially life coaching because the client set functional goals based on what he/she was trying to accomplish either in a home or work setting.  Positive feedback from clients and their families encouraged me to broaden my professional scope to include anyone wanting to maximize personal potential. After taking the required training from the Coaches Training Institute to become a coach, I opened my practice with the notion that I could coach anyone.

As it turns out, I was actually doing myself a disservice by trying to take on all branches of coaching.  Like a shrub in need of pruning, I had to trim back in some areas to find my shape.  My MBTI personality type, ENFP, was a useful tool in helping me understand why I felt the pull to expand and overextend rather than focus my energy into areas where I could be most effective.  The ENFP personality type seeks variety and new challenges but can be weak on follow-through or can lose interest when there is a lull in the action.  It was this knowledge of psychological type that helped me engage in successful personal branding exercises.

Recently, my practice and my website underwent an overhaul with an integral part of the process focusing on clearly defining myself so that I would attract the ideal client to my business.  It was helpful to work with a consultant so that I could take the process outside of myself and get some useful feedback.  As an ENFP. I didn’t want to narrow my possibilities but I did have to learn how to sprout new ideas in the context of an overall structure.  In addition, I read the book, The Business and Practice of Coaching by Lynn Grodzki and Wendy Allen that underscored the importance of identifying a niche in coaching and creating energy and excitement  around that area of expertise.

Currently my friend who is an INFJ personality type is encountering different challenges surrounding the personal branding of  her business and subsequent website release.  Certainly she wants an internet presence  but like many INFJ  types, she is also rather discerning  about the end product so she is reluctant to release anything unless it is carefully crafted to perfection.  The  INFJ  type often relies on his/her dominant intuition function to see another possible way to improve on project thus adding layers of complexity that can delay the final release of an end product. Just as I must remind myself that my ENFP personality type has a tendency to overextend and pursue anything new; the INFJ type may need to watch for perfectionism and sacrificing timeliness for the sake of getting it just right.

Entrepreneurship and small business ownership are more prevalent than ever in today’s economy.  The internet is a useful tool to market your goods and services.   However, this is a crowded playing field so how will you stand out among all the other possible players?   Personal branding is one way to define what you offer and the MBTI is a tool to identify strengths and be mindful of blind spots as you engage in that process.

Every psychological type has both strengths and developmental challenges.  For example, an ENFP type is full of creative ideas and schemes but is also prone to losing focus and follow through once the newness has worn off.  An INFJ  may be able to mediate complex interactions among individuals but at the same time, be reluctant to intrude upon others and thus keep too much to himself.    Why isn’t  it enough to implore the ENFP to “just do it” or to encourage the INFJ to just share what he is thinking?

It is natural for an ENFP to want to move on to the next challenge because her dominant function is extraverted intuition.   Her brain is excited by new ideas, patterns, and insights. This is her default mode similar to the default settings on the computer. In the absence of a deliberate effort to bypass this natural tendency, she will enthusiastically jump from one intriguing curiosity to the next.  She may be aware that she has to finish a given activity in order to meet a stated goal.   However, the key to accomplishing this is an effective strategy to help her manage a natural tendency.

Perhaps she learns to write down ideas as they pop into her head rather than immediately following her nose to satisfy her curiosity.  With the advent of Google, it’s easy to get sidetracked by wanting to know something right now rather than later on.  Or maybe there is some mundane task like writing the bills that she often ignores in favor of a more exciting task.   Maybe she has has to take them to a coffee shop to work on them so she can be around people but not be distracted by other more intriguing stimuli in her home.

What about the INFJ who won’t share what is on his mind?  Maybe he needs to remind himself that many people he will be sharing his thoughts with are not as sensitive as he is so he can afford to be a little more forthright.  Or, he can capitalize on his effective writing skills by putting his thoughts into a letter or, using a journal to formulate what he is going to say so he is fully prepared to speak his mind.  He needs a strategy that goes beyond the goal that he will “speak up more often in meetings”, for example. He needs to know how he can do this without creating so much anxiety that he avoids it altogether.

Effective coaching has 3 main components:  1. Increased self-awareness.   2.Goal setting and identification of activities leading to those goals.  3.Strategies that will increase the likelihood that those goals will be successfully met.   Awareness of psychological type through the use of the MBTI instruments can provide needed insight on how these strategies are formulated.

On January 28th, my husband will go to Haiti for 10 days to perform surgery on the victims of the recent earthquake in that country.  It is impossible to imagine what he will encounter when he gets there.  Haiti was not in good shape prior to this disaster but now he will probably see enough death, destruction, and human suffering that would rattle most people.  Mark is no stranger to less than optimal conditions having worked in an inner-city trauma hospital in Detroit;  several Jamaican medical missions; and as part of a team performing surgery in Honduras.  This is likely to be much worse though.  It will be hot. Food and sanitation might be limited.  There will probably be bodies not yet recovered from the rubble.

My husband is a pretty introverted guy.  He is polite but often intimidating when you first meet him. He has South Dakota manners but he is not one to schmooze or chit chat when we have company.  Once he has said hello,  he will quickly disappear into his lair to do medical charts, look at antique cars or trains on Ebay or watch the History Channel.  However, once you get to know him, he can be quite engaging and he is actually quite a prankster.  Still, much of the time he is quite contained.

However,Mark has an incredible capacity to focus especially under the most demanding circumstances.  In 1991, during the Halloween blizzard in Minnesota, he performed 25 emergency surgeries on hands that had gotten caught in snow blowers.  He did them one right after the other for 36 hours straight. I used to think he pushed himself to the limit so he could earn “suffering points” and I would then have to treat him extra nice but I have learned such is not the case.  The harder he has to work, the more competent he becomes.  He also sets high standards for himself and those around him. At times, this can be nerve- wracking for our family. As one daughter put it, “Every time he walks in the door, I feel like I have to be doing something!”  However, once he casts his critical eye, he usually moves on to one of his projects and we can all relax!

Haiti has the right man for the job. I have no doubt that Mark will relish the challenge of repairing as many orthopaedic injuries as he can despite the deplorable conditions he is likely to face.  It is probably to his advantage that he tends to be stoic because otherwise, he might become overwhelmed.  I am somewhat concerned about his safety but I know he is wired for this type of work.  Ever since he missed the first opportunity to go because he left his phone in the car for 2 days (typical), he has been pacing around looking for the inroad.  Now that the plan is set, he is energized.  So off you go, Mark E. Holm, M.D.!  I hope they can find a bed long enough to handle your 6 foot 5 frame!  Probably not…

Since many of my blogs are about the unique gifts of each Myers-Briggs personality type, I might as well reveal Mark’s type.  He is an INTJ, the master of focus, hard work and ingenuity. I know he will use these strengths to bring relief to the victims of this earthquake. Our family is very proud of him!

My Life As An INFJ  (NOTE: The client is a highly accomplished individual in many areas of life) :

I have always been very imaginative and creative . I want to see what I imagine turned into reality, if possible.The adage 1% Inspiration 99% perspiration rings true for me. I like to think I am good at the 1% inspiration but can also follow through with the necessary perspiration to make it. I want to please people and usually finish tasks well ahead of time.

I prefer one on one conversations and even when there are three people, I find myself trying to instigate a conversation between the other two so I can wait on the side lines. I have always got on best with extrovert types. Although I have learned to participate in group conversations, this does not come naturally to me  Also,I know exactly what people think of me. I come across as naïve and at times I probably am but I can see what is going on probably more than people realise.   I am to a fault very concerned at what others think of me. I wish I wasn’t but that’s how I am. Also,I can see people and tell what they will be like, even without speaking to them. I do like to support people I think are being unfairly treated or picked on. I hate hurting or upsetting people. It’s probably THE single thing I hate most. If I think I have hurt someone then I am mortified. I hate bullying.

Somehow I just know some things even when I have no evidence to support these hunches. Time and again my initial hunches are borne out. I constantly worry I have offended people so I find myself constantly apologizing. Usually this is met with bemused looks as they wander what I am apologizing for. My brain is constantly on the go buzzing around. I have always been a poor sleeper as I just can’t turn off when I go to bed. I have learnt that strenuous exercise helps me relax and sleep better.

Some of the greatest public servants have been purported to share the INFJ personality type including Eleanor Roosevelt, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King, Jr.   There is no way of knowing for sure although many who are familiar with type theory agree that this is probably the case.   What is clear though is that because of the depth and complexity of this personality type, it has the potential to shine brightly like the most dazzling diamond but if unsupported, the INFJ can leave this brilliance untapped.   No INFJ probably escapes without some degree of self-doubt but many can learn to push through that feeling.   The INFJ brings rare gifts to the world  but like cutting a diamond, it’s necessary to know how to draw out those qualities without disrupting the integrity of the gem itself. Patience and an appreciation for the finer but potentially hidden qualities of this type is required to bring out it’s most desirable features.

A critical step in the reliable use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is verification of type through a dialogue between the individual completing the inventory and the practitioner interpreting the results.  After receiving the results, the client will read the description of the personality type, in the aggregate, to determine if it is  largely accurate.  In my experience, I have found the INFJ  notoriously difficult to type.   Even after the verification step, the INFJ  can be uncertain that this description fits. It isn’t due to shortcomings in the Myers-Briggs  questionnaire.  It is mainly due to the rarity and complexity of the INFJ type.

Exact percentages vary but the INFJ, the rarest of the personality types, is said to account for 1-2% of the overall population, females slightly more often than males.  The INFJ has been called “The Mystic,” “The Counselor,” and “Empath”.  They are described as  original, gentle, caring, and highly intuitive. The quality of extrasensory perception, or ESP, is often attributed to them. People who have known INFJs for years continue to be surprised when yet another layer of their complex personality is revealed.  As a result of their inferior sensing function, they can be stubborn and obsess about an inconsequential detail , usually when they are under stress. Their ability to see the big picture can be affected during these times. INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they  are so genuinely interested in people — a product of the auxiliary feeling function they most readily show to the world (Introverts show their auxiliary function, or the function that supports the dominant function, to the world first). Still, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or mate.   Yet, INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out those closest to them. This apparent about face is  necessary, providing both time to rebuild their energy and a filter to prevent the emotional overload that can happen as they deeply experience other individuals.  This is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders particularly if experience with this type has been limited.  I have 3 INFJ’s in my life, my brother, my daughter, and my best friend and I can attest to the fact that they are like Russian nesting dolls, when one doll is exposed,  another one lies inside.

The INFJ has a curious mix of psychological preferences that both serve them well but also create almost constant dynamic tension.  The first of these is the tendency to desire closure and timeliness battling with an even stronger preference to keep generating more options and perspectives (N vs J).  This can lead to a feeling of being confused or disorganized because even as an INFJ is trying to complete something on time, new ideas keep appearing which try to displace that which has already been decided.  One of my earliest recollections of this in my daughter was when she shouted, “Mom! Help me stop this video in my head!” An INFJ may begin a project or a paper and find themselves operating under a time crunch not because they are disorganized, but because they have yet to call a truce between their imaginative mind and their need for closure. Hence, an INFJ may report a preference for “P” or perceiving characterized by working best under pressure, keeping an open schedule, and allowing events to unfold when in fact this behavior is not preferred but  is a byproduct of the battle between an internal brainstorm and the need for closure. The upside to these opposing forces is that the INFJ, having an awareness of what is happening, can consciously turn off the debate, and enjoy a rare combination of creative thinking and follow through. An INFJ wants both!

Another interesting nuance of this personality type is the feeling preference combined with introversion.  As feelers, INFJ’s are focused on people: listening to them, encouraging their growth, and honoring their unique qualities. Many INFJ’s are counselors, ministers, and teachers.  They are often in the forefront of significant movements to change the world.  Famous INFJ’s include Eleanor Roosevelt, Martin Luther King jr. and Nelson Mandela. They are often actors and comedians such as Adam Sandler, Carrie Fischer, and Jamie Foxx.  A preference for introversion merely means that the individual has to retreat into the mind at some point, to recharge energy.  Introverts, particularly those who have a people oriented feeling preference (INFP, INFJ), can and do extravert well but when the battery has been drained, such individuals may abruptly withdrawal from the scene. The jewel in this dynamic though is that as introverts, these individuals also tend to be observers and can therefore experience people at a deeper level, identify the ironies in life, and combined with their rich imaginations, dream of a more ideal world than the one that exists today.  As far as verifying type,  the  I versus F  dynamic might result in a reported preference for extraversion.  Another possibility is that the richness of their feeling experiences may feel overwhelming at times so they rely on thinking to manage their thoughts and emotions. Hence a “T” preference may be reported.  This complexity can lead to confusion on the part of the INFJ during the type verification process.

A logical question at this point might be, “Why is it so important to know one’s type?  An INFJ might mistype as an INFP, INTP, ENFJ, or INTJ. The brief answer to that is when type is known, one can better understand cognitive strengths and make choices that will make use of an individual’s greatest gifts.  Type identification can also uncover blind spots and illuminate reoccurring sources of frustration in work/school situations, communication, relationships, and identification of overall life purpose.  For general information on the value of psychological typing,  please see my link at: http://www.annholm.net/myers-briggs-type-indicator-mtbi-is-psychological-type-the-key-to-uncovering-your-potential/  There is also an excellent website for all things INFJ at http://www.infj.org/public/infjcharacter.html

One of the characteristics often attributed to INFJ’s is ESP. Sometimes they seem to sense “something in the air.”  As I was writing this piece last night, my INFJ brother, who I talk to perhaps once per month, called me from a baseball field.  He said, “I want to share this with you. My son played his last baseball game on this field. The sun is setting and I am sitting on the dugout bench, by myself, reflecting that everything goes so fast.  It’s a cycle though, like the rising and the falling of the sun.  I wish I could share this moment with Dad and Grandma. They were here for me like this once. It’s romantic and beautiful.”  The irony of writing a piece about INFJ’s only to have one of my favorite among these call me during a quintessential INFJ moment!