I was stunned by the photos and the stories that Mark brought back from Haiti.  I laughed when he told me he slept on a ramshackle reclining chair with mosquito netting over his face (He HATES mosquitoes and bad sleeping arrangements).  I was proud of him when he told me he tried to make each cast a special color and design for his young patients.  I was stunned when I saw the photos of this ruined city.  Instead of uploading photos to annholm.net, which I learned is not that easy to do, I thought I would provide the direct link to the album on my Facebook page. Click the following link.  The album is titled, “I Wish Haiti Had a Reset Button”

**** Also, thank you to everyone who prayed for him  and who also tried to arrange for  Mark’s safe return when it was looking a little “shakey baba” .  I appreciated the support!

The doctors in Haiti continue to perform surgery 15 hours per day.  Many of their patients require amputations

These doctors are making a difference!  In Mark’s case, he packed a few extra items to guarantee his best work.   He plays his Ipod during surgery through a small speaker system he squeezed into his luggage because music is like Popeye’s spinach; it energizes and focuses him. He also packed the Club Helm flag, the official banner for a group of  our friends who wish to send their good vibes to Haiti, even though they can’t be there themselves.   The Club Helm “Board Members” elected to send it to Haiti on a humanitarian mission rather than take it to the outdoor hockey game in Madison, Wisconsin, a more typical destination for the flag.

The days are long and there is no air conditioning in the surgical tents.  I cannot imagine what it’s like to concentrate with unrelenting heat and no end in sight to the number of people who require surgery.   The needs of the Haitian people will not be fully met for a very long time and their needs will extend well beyond this initial phase of disaster relief.  It is overwhelming to think so much has been done during this medical mission but it’s like a taking a brick out of the pyramids: what remains is enormous!

The plane that brought them in sustained damage so new plans have to be made to get them back to the United States on Tuesday.  Hopefully, all will go well so Mark can go on his scheduled ski trip to Colorado with our son Andrew on Thursday.  Cool mountain air will probably feel like heaven.

I received a call from Mark tonight

They were mobbed at the airport by people looking for help of all sorts: food, money, whatever they could get. Meanwhile, the doctors have been performing surgeries 15 hours per day. The hospital is “decent” and there are teams from Mississippi, North Carolina, Seattle, and Italy. Mark commented that the  injured are putting up with lots of pain as they wait for help but they have been patient. They are in hospital rooms, in the hallways, out on the hospital porch, and in the park.  There are few emergency amputations, only revisions of existing procedures.  There are plenty of  other broken bones requiring attention. Also, they are slowly getting organized making sure the surgical patients receive follow-up care.  At first, it was difficult to do surgery and also monitor the recovery of those who had already had a procedure. They are close to the U.S. Embassy at this point.  They expect to see worse conditions when they travel to outlying areas.  One could see fires tonight, about a mile from the hospital, and Mark speculated that they were  burning those who had perished in the earthquake.

I will blog about this tomorrow once I receive photos. All he had for me tonight was the photo of the plane. Mark has always wanted to be a pilot (and I have always protested insisting it was dangerous),  so I am not surprised he sent me this picture first.  He is forever a funny guy.

On January 28th, my husband will go to Haiti for 10 days to perform surgery on the victims of the recent earthquake in that country.  It is impossible to imagine what he will encounter when he gets there.  Haiti was not in good shape prior to this disaster but now he will probably see enough death, destruction, and human suffering that would rattle most people.  Mark is no stranger to less than optimal conditions having worked in an inner-city trauma hospital in Detroit;  several Jamaican medical missions; and as part of a team performing surgery in Honduras.  This is likely to be much worse though.  It will be hot. Food and sanitation might be limited.  There will probably be bodies not yet recovered from the rubble.

My husband is a pretty introverted guy.  He is polite but often intimidating when you first meet him. He has South Dakota manners but he is not one to schmooze or chit chat when we have company.  Once he has said hello,  he will quickly disappear into his lair to do medical charts, look at antique cars or trains on Ebay or watch the History Channel.  However, once you get to know him, he can be quite engaging and he is actually quite a prankster.  Still, much of the time he is quite contained.

However,Mark has an incredible capacity to focus especially under the most demanding circumstances.  In 1991, during the Halloween blizzard in Minnesota, he performed 25 emergency surgeries on hands that had gotten caught in snow blowers.  He did them one right after the other for 36 hours straight. I used to think he pushed himself to the limit so he could earn “suffering points” and I would then have to treat him extra nice but I have learned such is not the case.  The harder he has to work, the more competent he becomes.  He also sets high standards for himself and those around him. At times, this can be nerve- wracking for our family. As one daughter put it, “Every time he walks in the door, I feel like I have to be doing something!”  However, once he casts his critical eye, he usually moves on to one of his projects and we can all relax!

Haiti has the right man for the job. I have no doubt that Mark will relish the challenge of repairing as many orthopaedic injuries as he can despite the deplorable conditions he is likely to face.  It is probably to his advantage that he tends to be stoic because otherwise, he might become overwhelmed.  I am somewhat concerned about his safety but I know he is wired for this type of work.  Ever since he missed the first opportunity to go because he left his phone in the car for 2 days (typical), he has been pacing around looking for the inroad.  Now that the plan is set, he is energized.  So off you go, Mark E. Holm, M.D.!  I hope they can find a bed long enough to handle your 6 foot 5 frame!  Probably not…

Since many of my blogs are about the unique gifts of each Myers-Briggs personality type, I might as well reveal Mark’s type.  He is an INTJ, the master of focus, hard work and ingenuity. I know he will use these strengths to bring relief to the victims of this earthquake. Our family is very proud of him!

Now what happens when an ENTP type and an ENFP type, two professional procrastinators get together to get work done? Here is the amazing story of Lockdown 2010.   I am an ENFP and I had work that had been hanging over my head for 6 weeks.  My friend, an ENTP,  had a project that had hung over her head for much longer than that.  We both knew that we would feel the sense of accomplishment once it was done.  However recall,  taking something off the “TO DO” list isn’t necessarily the driving force that spurs a dominant extraverted intuitive into action.  It’s the newness. The fun. We can start off with the best of intentions but easily get sidetracked by something interesting to read,  lunch with a fascinating companion, a new project.   Anything is better than dotting the “i’s” or crossing the “t’s”.   We knew we had to make it fun.

It started with a few clever Facebook messages about how this lockdown was really going to happen.  Once the time slot was chosen and the commitment had been secured,  we set up all kinds of penalties for not following through.  More banter. More delightful, exquisite banter.  Then the day finally came.  I stopped at the coffee shop and bought fluffy, overpriced coffees and we chatted a bit, just to warm our brains up.   After that, we manned our stations and got to work, me with my stack of chart notes and her with her stack of journal articles.  Every once in awhile, we took a break to check Facebook to see who was having more fun than us and it seemed like everyone was. I mean, who can beat a college party where everyone dresses up like the characters from, “Jersey Shore?”  In fact, we decided our next lockdown will be a Jersey Shore lockdown.

Anyway, just before lunch (we had it delivered so no one was going ANYWHERE), I got to do my first victory dance.  I finished all of the chart notes!  The pizza arrived and we took a break, eating and recharging our brains with well-earned chat.  We did everything we could to make it amusing while still keeping our eye on the prize: finished work.  Next I completed a piece of marketing that would help my business immensely.   Some would think that I would have completed this long ago but distractions  kept it on the sideline. I felt my energy building as I could share with my friend my turn of phrase and all things “hot off the press.”  I completed the document and  performed another victory dance.  As of this writing, my friend has completed the entire stack of journal articles and is into the 6th page of her project.  She has earned the right to a victory dance for making such progress but she is holding off until she can do the ultimate dance.  I can’t wait for that moment.

This has been an extremely productive day, a day that would not have happened if two world class procrastinators had not come up with a formula to make it fun and interesting rather than tedious and boring.   Self-awareness can go a long way toward overcoming a snag or becoming unstuck.  Energy is released when one can reframe a challenge in a way that is palatable but still accomplishes the task at hand.  Do not ask how the task should be done. Instead, ask how  the task can be done.  The latter will produce infinite possibilities and more often than not, a satisfying outcome indeed!

Every so often, I get the opportunity to enjoy a meal or a cup of coffee with former patients and clients.  Not only do I like to see how they are doing but it feels like I am visiting with an old friend. Today I saw the Magnificent Mr. O  (due to privacy laws I can’t reveal his name but the “O” stands for optimism) who clearly has had more than his share of trials in life.  In his late 20′s, he was diagnosed with a lymphoma requiring surgery and radiation to his neck. The resulting scar tissue caused his carotid artery to narrow so at the age of 44, he suffered a massive stroke leaving the left side of his body paralyzed and his doctors skeptical that he would ever walk again. Along with that came cognitive deficits that impaired his ability to return to his job as a top executive in a large company.   After taking not one but two major hits in his life, it would be understandable  for this man to give up and accept his limitations.  But the prospect of being unable to walk or return to meaningful work was far more frightening to him than the effort and attitude it would take get better….

When I last worked with Mr. O, not only had he learned to walk  again, he was preparing to return to his job as an executive.  No one would have predicted this, given the level of his initial disability but he proved everyone wrong.  We should have known he would surpass our expectations because whatever goal we set for him in rehab therapy, he would accomplish twice as well and in half the time. For example, I remember when physical therapy gave him the goal to walk around the block at least one time during the weekend.  When we returned the following Monday, he had taken several 2 mile walks!  There were countless times when he did more than we asked him to do and there was joy in accepting the challenge.  Although he didn’t particularly like the predicament that he was in, he did appear more alive when he had summon his greatest resources to solve the problem.

That is what I call the face of optimism!  Optimism is not denying the disappointments, upheavals, and tragedies in life. Such a notion makes me think of the famous scene in Monty Python’s Holy Grail when King Arthur lops off the body parts of the Black Knight in a duo and Black Knight treats it like a mere scratches and flesh wounds:

ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT: Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]

ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

BLACK KNIGHT: ‘Tis but a scratch.

ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm’s off!

BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn’t.

ARTHUR: Well, what’s that, then?

BLACK KNIGHT: I’ve had worse…

It is not an original thought to point out that optimism isn’t about sticking your head in the sand. This has been well-articulated in many excellent books including Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman.  In this book, Seligman offers several concrete strategies to reframe and re-energize your mind and spirit to take on life’s challenges.  In fact, I highly recommend it!  However, a mere book cannot capture the spirit I am describing when I speak of the Magnificent Mr. O and his brand of optimism.  This man has a personal energy that defies any catastrophe to bring him down.  Challenges energize him and when he has to accept a less than optimal outcome, he adapts and finds a way to be grateful anyway. For example, his left arm and hand have contractures rendering this limb virtually useless. What does Mr. O have to say about this?  “It’s all good. It holds my wedding ring!”

It is this type of energy that inspires me to remember that letting go of preconceived ideas of what is good and what isn’t is the key to a fulfilling existence. Or to paraphrase Mr. O, “I couldn’t buy a ride like this. It’s all been good. God has always given me the strength to handle it.

I mentioned at the beginning of this story that Mr. O had taken 2 major hits in his life,  cancer and a stroke.  Well guess what.  Last fall, not even at age 50,he was hit by a truck that shattered his femur and pelvis. He spent several months in bed and in therapy recovering from the injury. I asked him, “How on earth did you handle yet another setback?”  He answered, “I read, prayed, and learned that I had to let go of my fears.”  Hear ye! Keep your eye out for the Magnificent Mr. O! He has some projects percolating in the back of his mind and I can say with great certainty, his greatest accomplishments lie ahead!

Gene M. was one of my first “official” patients after I completed my speech therapy training in 1986.  He was receiving treatment for liver cancer but a stroke unexpectedly added to a growing  list of health problems. Even though he died 23 years ago,he remains one of my favorite patients of all time. When I met him, I was captured by his personal energy, and among other attributes, his incredible grasp of the 3 pillars of conscietious  living: vote, pay taxes and delight your wife.Here is what I learned from Gene about each one of these:

Vote: We all had the privilege of voting for a new president this past November. Gene thought it was “crazy” to pass up the opportunity to be heard. Likewise, he felt it was important to support whoever was in office regardless of personal political leanings. He knew the names of all of the presidents and he never scoffed in disrespect about any of them. His personal favorite was Abraham Lincoln and by the time we finished our therapy relationship, I had read 3 large books about Lincoln all from Gene’s personal “presidential library.”  He had a reverence for the Office of President that would be considered absurdly out of style by today’s standards. While our new president, Barrack Obama is enjoying considerable popularity now, I would not be the least bit surprised if some faction seeks to discredit him before too long. In fact, if I may borrow one of my late grandmother’s famous sayings, “Why if (Gene) were alive today, he would be turning over in his grave” if he knew that all Presidents these days eventually end up in some sort of scandal, real or made-up.

Pay Taxes: I hate taxes and our family pays a lot of them.  Apart from the physical act of forking over the money to the government, each year I am in charge of collecting and tabulating the tax documents for the tax accountant. My memories of the sheer torture of this task go way back to the days when my dad would put on a pot of coffee at night, and we would all head for the hills while he did the taxes (damn it!). I do some form of this dance myself every year and I hate it, hate it, hate it.  The tax system is complicated and screwy. That being said though, Gene was right about this too. Even though it feels unfair at times, evading a tax obligation is immoral especially in America where we have the right to vote, influence laws, and protest legally.

Delight Your Wife: Of the 3 pillars, Gene was a master at this one. Even though both he and his wife had significant health problems, the love and laughter that bound this couple together was palpable when they entered the room. One of the gifts of working with them was to witness love, pure and simple, that persisted despite illness and in the case of Gene, significant language impairment due to his stroke. Much of the time, his words in no way resembled what he was really trying to say.  Let’s just say there was an “art” to understanding his word salad. Under such conditions, many people refuse to talk and relationships become strained.  But Gene delighted his wife until the very end! He laughed at himself when he made mistakes, held the door for her even though one side of his body was weakened from the stroke, and interacted playfully with her even though his medical condition was poor and getting worse.

When I gave Gene the language test, I thought he was being funny when he asserted that good citizens “voted, paid taxes, and delighted their wives.”  Afterall, someone with a language impairment can say all kinds of unusual things.  Nevertheless, he lived like he meant what he said.  I guess it came as no surprise to me when I learned he was born on the 4th of July.

It is not merely a cliche’ that one must look for the rainbow after a rainstorm.

Once upon a time, a perfect little smooth fox terrier puppy was born in California. Her spectacular face was half-black and half-white; even one eye had black eye lashes and the other had white ones. She was  lucky puppy who got  to fly first-class to her new digs in Minnesota (a family friend brought her home with him after a business trip).  “What a gorgeous, perfect puppy”, everyone on the plane remarked.

Piccadilly was a smart, spunky, and agile dog. She quickly learned tricks such as jumping through a hoop, playing dead, and rolling over. She could leap from chair to chair as easily as a squirrel jumps from tree branch to tree branch.  Her family said, “She is so smart, clever and athletic that we should make her a circus puppy. Maybe she could perform at half-time at an NBA basketball game someday!” Her family had seen other dogs perform at half-time at the Target Center so they had big plans to take her to agility school so she could learn all of those nifty maneuvers.

Then one day, something terrible happened to this perfect fox terrier. It started out as pain in her right paw. Within 12 hours, it had progressed into full paralysis on the right side of her body. Piccadilly was suffering from a spinal cord stroke (an FCE, to be exact). This once nearly perfect show quality dog laid on her side, panting and unable to get up.  Her doctors said she would probably never be the same and they warned that her course of rehabilitation would be extensive. Was she worth keeping or was it best to just let her go?

The family decided to help her recover.  At first, Piccadilly could not move at all.  She had to be supported to eat; stood up to go outside; and have her position adjusted to prevent cramping.  Every day, her paw would be poked with a dry spaghetti noodle to see if she could feel anything, anything that would indicate some hope of recovery. Two weeks went by before she reacted at all. Progress was nearly undetectable until one day, a months later, she took her first steps….backward! Her family worked with her faithfully and she even went to the only canine physical therapist in the midwest who had an underwater treadmill for dogs!  She recovered well but not completely. Indeed, she was never the same. Her course of rehabilitation resembled that of many patients who have a stroke, make progress but never return to normal. Such was Piccadilly’s fate.

So what ultimately happened to this perfect little puppy who had a big stroke and was never the same?  She became the Fabulous Rainbow Puppy who accompanies her master on home therapy visits to people who have had a stroke just like her.  Most patients want to see, “the dog who had the stroke” and when she limps into a room as if she were  a queen, the bond is almost instant.  Many dogs have been trained to visit elderly or disabled individuals. None are like the Fabulous Rainbow Puppy. She is one of them.  No one dreamed that this stroke would make her so perfect.

This story is true and her colors are real.   I know this to be so because she is mine.

March 16, 1977

Dear Ann,

Why should a father want his daughter to get the best grades she is capapble of achieving?  I suppose that some fathers want their daughters to perform well in school so they can say to people they know…”Isn’t my daughter something special? She’s pretty; she’s popular and she’s very bright! Look how well she’ doing in school!”

But fathers who push their daughters to perform well in school simply to brag to their friends are, themselves, not very bright! Afterall, it’s really just an act of God if a daughter happens to be pretty or popular or athletic or bright. Why should a father take credit for that? And, in a broader sense, wouldn’t a father be a rather shallow person if he had to live his life through the accomplishments of his children?

But my reason for wanting you to do as well in school as you can is totally different. I want you to learn all you can and get good grades because, by doing so, you will improve the quality of your life. In other words, I want you to work hard for your benefit, not for mine.

You know, when girls reach their teens, many of them begin to feel their fathers are rather dumb. Fathers and sometimes mothers, are often looked at as being old-fashioned, not very smart, and certainly not in tune with what’s going on. Afterall, fathers are pretty old guys whose own teen-age experiences happened a long, long time ago. And since fathers were never girls, they certainly cannot be expected to know what is really important to a young lady today. Perhaps you feel that way too—it’s only human nature that you do. Let me tell you that as you look backwards ten years from now, you will have an entirely different perspective.

Let me tell you also that I am in a very good position to see the benefits of studying hard–and the consequences of not doing your very best in school. In my business, I’ve seen a dozen or more young ladies just out of high school working for us. In dealing with my clients, I’ve seen dozens more. At first, typing or doing other clerical work seems interesting and exciting to them. After awhile, that work becomes boring and tedious and they begin to question the value of what they are doing and even their own self-worth. Many feel they are in a terrible rut at only 18, 19, or 20 years of age! What a terrible position to be in! I want something better for you.

Some of the girls I’ve spoken about go off to further their education. Others have tried but cannot because they did not perform well in high school. In other words, they did not leave open the option of going to college, let alone the college of their choice. Now, not everyone should go to college. Maybe that is not the right thing for you. But don’t make the mistake of losing that option by not studying– by choosing instead to take the easy way out, ignoring your studies and playing your way through school.

Now I know you are not receiving failing grades. You may argue that your grades are not so bad that they would keep you out of college if you wanted to go. But there is a second and maybe more important reason for studying hard. The more you study and learn, the more your mind will expand to look at life a little differently than persons who are not well-educated. That is hard for me to describe and for you to understand, I’m sure. All I know is that the better educated and more knowledgeable a person is, the more meaningful and satisfying their life seems to be for them. Of course, there are exceptions, but less knowledgeable people seem to be inflexible in their thinking and less happy with themselves and the world around them.

Now you may think I’m overreacting to your mediocre report card. Why write all of this just because you are likely to get a couple of “C’s”? Well, I’m not writing this because of your report card. I’m writing because I care about you. I’m writing because I think it’s important for you to always live up to your potential for YOUR sake. I’m also writing because I think you are bright enough that if you really think about it, you’ll buckle down on your own without being forced into by your parents.

I’m seriously thinking about putting severe restrictions on your social life. I’m also seriously thinking about having you change schools next year. I don’t really know what I’m going to do yet and I won’t do anything until first talking it over with your mother. I’m not sure restrictions of any sort would do any good. You and ONLY you can decide if change your study habits and effort.

I hope you read what I have to say and that you will save it and read again from time to time. Remember that I love you and I want the best for you.

Love,

Dad

Andy Czajka 1936-1989