I thought this was going to be another long boring blog post, but I was pleasantly suprised. I will be posting a backlink on my blog, as I am quite sure my readers will find this more than interesting.

Hello, Ann. Thank you so much for your wonderful insights into INFJ. I felt at home here and more self-accepting seeing that I am not alone in my maddening complexity.

I’m wondering if you would be able to shed some light on the difficulties INFJs may have with their careers. What I mean is that I, at least, often experience disillusionment and a sense of mis-placement at work. My husband keeps say indignantly that the companies for which I’ve worked have simply not known what to do with me and my superior (he thinks!) skills. I think that my frustration is my responsibility, since I’m the one who keeps working in different roles, capacities and companies but cannot find real satisfaction. What can I, as an INFJ, do or learn to better accept the reality of the average (corporate) workplace and my place in it?

Thank you!

Hi Pamela-
Please email me and tell me more about yourself. How old are you? What careers have you done in the past and what has been satisfying or disappointing about these choices? I am always happy to answer an initial email question free of charge and the more information I have about you, the better my answer can be. I have 3 very close relationships with INFJ’s (my daughter, my brother, and my best friend) and through our interactions, I have come to really understand and deeply appreciate their exceptional qualities. Often INFJ’s puzzle even themselves but with increased self-awareness, they can not only feel more comfortable with their mental processes, they can harness their potential and be spectacular! Please write me back at annholm@comcast.net

INFJ & The falsehood of naivety
I have been perceived before as being naive, but inside all I can think is how if they only knew the truth. I am confirmed that they have no idea just how intensely aware and mentally involved in understandings that I am, most likely more than they are. I think I found the reason for this in myself.
I’ve noticed in social situations I will be “too nice” and it can be my weakness. I hold back my opinions at times because I dont want to bring offense or come off in a wrong way,(usually I am just imagining that this will happen, but in reality I dont think they would be offended.) When I fail to say something in those moments, (because im wanting to avoid discomfort on the other persons bahalf,) I have been called naive. My own holding back is what comes off as someone who is aloof, but it is the complete opposite.

I hear comments just like this from others who share your MBTI preferences for INFJ. Inherent in your type is deep empathy for others so you are not likely to offend people unless you do so inadvertently. This can make you appear naive or aloof, as you say. However, sometimes this kindness can work to your disadvantage because your body language will give off a different message if you keep everything inside. Also, if you hold back too much, then explode, you can scare the living daylights out of people because it seems so out of character for this gentle soul to be so angry. Practice sharing what’s on your mind and try to get comfortable with it. Also,realize that many people will benefit from your insights and in holding back, your wisdom remains untapped.

Being an INFJ is a juxtaposition. While people see me as an outgoing “E”, actually, I prefer to be alone and reflect. My “feeling” side is very evident, hence people tend to gravitate around me with their troubles, or they just seek my company. My life is a very social one (not by choice,) and as I get older, I seem to withdraw more internally, and enjoy observing others and their behaviour as well as trying to understand their motives, developing a certain level of aloofness, which can be misunderstood.

Where people are concerned, I have always relied on my intuition, which has served me very well in the past – sussing out people. I help my husband with his career as well by advising him of the motives of others and what they may be scheming, and most times, events unfold just as predicted. It’s just uncanny sometimes, how accurate these intuitions can be.

At work, I have gone through a spectrum of jobs. My chosen profession is in teaching and education, and I am passionate about this. However, I had also branched out into Human Resource and HR Change, where one of my main role was to scope the “feel” and “environment” of organisations and advise the CEO and Board of Directors of initiatives to drive employee engagement. When I got into this area, promotions came in quick successions and my services were sought after by multinational companies undergoing merger & acquisition. I left this field after feeling horribly let down – as I felt that I was being used as a mouthpiece and the promises made were not kept to employees. It had something to do with conscience and ability to sleep at night. Now I am back in education, lecturing and working towards obtaining my Ph.D.

Relationship-wise, yes, I am not the easiest person to live with… I wish that my character is a simpler, sunnier one. However, I have been married to the same man for 17 years now (an ESTJ no less!) We do rub each other the wrong way sometimes, but we make the relationship work nonetheless

Thank you for your insights, Ida. I think the INFJ personality type is so fascinating and wonderful even though at times, the people blessed with these gifts might feel frustrated or convoluted. People seldom get tired of knowing an INFJ but they are often perplexed!

I was categorized by the Briggs-Meyer and Jung Personality tests as being an INFJ type. Whomever gave their personal description gave an uncanny description of how I perceive myself…it’s pleasantly odd.

I have never had anyone decribe my inner thoughts and feelings as this person has. I am truely shocked. I took a personality test to determine what type of career would be best for me. I came up as an INFJ and then relised it’s rather rare. I am talented in several areas, but I cannot decide what to do for my college course of study. I was not engaged as a child to be interested in education, but I naturally, with out any help, influence, or training, was very good at art and creativity. Now that I am in college I find psychology fascinating and mixed emotions about the field as far as income and possibilities of becoming a nurse. I can adapt to many different situations, as I have over the years. I am now near 30 yrs of age and still find my self an introvert, and constantly worried about how other percieve me. I do not understand this about my self and I too constantly apoligize for all types of things. My mind is rather photo-like and i see what people describe to me as they talk. When I take tests i can visulize my notes in my head and read them. The world seems to kind-of stare at me, and I come off as being “different”. I think in ways that most people do not, and my opions and thoughts recieve a high amount of praise for oringinality and complexcity. That is just how I see the world around me though; in a different view than most.

I’m an INFJ that was married to an ESTJ for 13 years, and I can write opposites do attract, but in my case, we each reverted back to “type” and the differences were too great to overcome. And after infidelity, I no longer wanted or had the energy to do so.

My work situation echoes all the other INFJs – I can’t stand office politics, and so while I’ve done well in a multitude of jobs, now that I’m single I’m going to earn my PhD and help the world through communications.

So, yay for me finally realizing it’s okay to be me, and enjoy my life as an INFJ?

Great post, everything you said rings true to me especially about being percieved as Naive, when that really isn’t the case and also about not being able to sleep well. Took me too long to find about the MBTI personality test but when I did everything made so much sense and put to rest a lot of self doubt about why I’ve found it hard to fit in throughout my life. Learning that my quirks are common for my personality type has helped me to interact with people better, I no longer feel the need to try and change the way I act around people and am much more relaxed in social situations. In fact I might save this article on my smartphone and next time somebody clearly isn’t getting me I’ll tell them to read it:)

Thank you for your comment! There have been some insightful comments on this blog. Knowing your personality type then claiming it’s gifts is very powerful. My daughter, who has the INFJ personality type has stated that once she understood how fantastic and unique she was, all kinds of doors opened up for her. Since it is a rare type, it may take time to realize that this unique and authentic self is a true asset and there is no need to try to be like anyone else! You will be valued for who you are if you honor it and own it!

Wow, here I was researching the various “issues” I am having in my career and why I cannot seem to explain what it is I am going through to anyone and I stumbled on this post. I just took the Myers Briggs online (again) and again INFJ comes up. The post and subsequent replies really speak to me and it is good to see that I am not alone, thinking maybe my career woes along with my personality traits were exclusive to me, this has helped a great deal. I always wondered why I could read people without fail too, this one has caused me great difficulties when trying to warn or explain to others.
Great post!

for several days I was wondering that if I’m a INFJ or not. Everything make sense now, thanks for the post!

I must say,everytime i read one of these posts,i always feel a little better to know i’m not such an odd-ball afterall.I am a “true” infj.totally textbook.I remember the first time i took the test (a little over a year ago) and then read the explaination of the type,i was literally bawling.I couldn’t believe how this test could explain soooo many things about myself that i myself never understood.And,as i read in someone elses post,it has definitly helped me in a lot of ways…this “knowing” of what i truly am.I’ve always wondered why people say i’m hard to approach,yet,the ones that do feel the need to tell me their life story in detail.I’ve always been able to “read” people,pretty much instantly,and have a very strong “intuition” sense,almost to the point i’ve actually wondered if i’m psychic.I feel others emotions so strongly,i can actuallly become ill if i’m around someone thats hurting,or if the person is just a “toxic-bad” person in general.As soon as i walk into a room/place i can “feel” the energy of that place.I find it so interesting that a lot of other INFJ’s say the same thing.I do believe our type is a blessing and curse at the same time.But,after you learn about,and accept our unique qualities,I truly believe our type has endless possibilities for greatness that no other type can even come close to!

Thank you for writing, Lisa. I think it’s awesome to read what everyone has written about this complex and fantastic type!

Your client hit the nail on the head. I agree with all he has shared, and resonate strongly with the ability to feel or know what others are feeling or thinking. There was one exception, however. I sleep really good (for the most part). Perhaps the ‘buzzing’ in his brain making sleep difficult translates for me into a ‘rich and busy dreamtime’. As an introvert and someone with a ‘weak’ social-life, I am never alone in my dreams. This always fascinates me. Though mundane in content, I have had prophetic dreams on occassion, rare occassions.

I have taken the Jung personality test and the Myer-Briggs test at least six times over the past twelve years, each time resulting in INFJ. At times I have expected to see a change, yet deep-down knowing that this likely wouldn’t be the case. In the Jung personality test, the INFJ keyword is ‘Author’. I self-published my first novel, “Chasing Bees”, in 2008. It is an emotion-driven story of love and letting go, abundant with spiritual concepts, all upon the background of a 22-hive apiary. As an INFJ, I can tell you, its easy to write a book and extremely painful and difficult to market it, especially one that was written from the heart and from personal experience, not simply fantasy. (There will be more of that in the second novel.)

I feel I should be involved in teaching but constantly question ‘how much I know’ and if I need to go back to school yet before attempting to teach the level of the knowledge (Feng Shui and Vedic Astrology) I have gained over the years. This, then, short-circuits my success. So, confidence remains an issue (most people who know me wouldn’t believe this is a problem), as is self-acceptance. So I very much appreciate the feedback above. Thank you everyone!

I too am an INFJ. Sometimes I forget, and I get all tangled up in life and get upset. People don’t understand me, they mis-judge me, I start doubting myself, blaming myself, thinking I have all sorts of complexes and that I’m not ‘normal’, and I forget who I am. I doubt my relationships, I get wild ideas about complete changes in career and then I remember to google INFJ… and I remember who I am, and it allmakes sense again.Iamallowed to be who I am after all, I am not alone:-)

I’m not alone!! Yay!! I really started thinking I was a freak until I came across all these comments from otehr INFJs!!
I’m also a typical textbook INFJ – the descriptions on here are so accurate it’s spooky! My parents and friends often don’t get me, I keep changing jobs as I don’t know what to do….I like dealing with people and am very intuitive. People tell me I’m “crazy” or “naive” or “too emotional, don’t wear your heart on your sleeve!” I can’t help it, it’s just the way I am! I want to get into HR or Industrial Psychology….but industrial psych. includes a LOT of maths which I am really bad at.
Anne, have you come across many INFJs who are bad at maths?Is this common? i want to study industrial psych. but the maths puts me off, I literally go blank when I see all the statistics etc. I want to be good at this!!! I want to combine this with my uncanny people skills and then I’m sorted!

Math skills vary and there are many different ways people can solve math problems. As far as an INFJ’s typical math skills, my daughter who is an INFJ is ok with math but not great. My brother who is also an INFJ has a Masters Degree in Math. So math aptitude is not very easy to predict solely based on psychological type.