On January 28th, my husband will go to Haiti for 10 days to perform surgery on the victims of the recent earthquake in that country.  It is impossible to imagine what he will encounter when he gets there.  Haiti was not in good shape prior to this disaster but now he will probably see enough death, destruction, and human suffering that would rattle most people.  Mark is no stranger to less than optimal conditions having worked in an inner-city trauma hospital in Detroit;  several Jamaican medical missions; and as part of a team performing surgery in Honduras.  This is likely to be much worse though.  It will be hot. Food and sanitation might be limited.  There will probably be bodies not yet recovered from the rubble. The people will be desperate.   How does one keep the edge amid all of this misery?

My husband is a pretty introverted guy.  He is polite but often intimidating when you first meet him. He has South Dakota manners but he is not one to schmooze or chit chat when we have company.  Once he has said hello,  he will quickly disappear into his lair to do medical charts, look at antique cars or trains on Ebay or watch the History Channel.  However, once you get to know him, he can be quite engaging and he is actually quite a prankster.  Still, much of the time he is quite contained.

However,Mark has an incredible capacity to focus especially under the most demanding circumstances.  In 1991, during the Halloween blizzard in Minnesota, he performed 25 emergency surgeries on hands that had gotten caught in snow blowers.  He did them one right after the other for 36 hours straight. I used to think he pushed himself to the limit so he could earn “suffering points” and I would then have to treat him extra nice but I have learned such is not the case.  The harder he has to work, the more competent he becomes.  He also sets high standards for himself and those around him. At times, this can be nerve- wracking for our family. As one daughter put it, “Every time he walks in the door, I feel like I have to be doing something!”  However, once he casts his critical eye, he usually moves on to one of his projects and we can all relax!

Haiti has the right man for the job. I have no doubt that Mark will relish the challenge of repairing as many orthopaedic injuries as he can despite the deplorable conditions he is likely to face.  It is probably to his advantage that he tends to be stoic because otherwise, he might become overwhelmed.  I am somewhat concerned about his safety but I know he is wired for this type of work.  Ever since he missed the first opportunity to go because he left his phone in the car for 2 days (typical), he has been pacing around looking for the inroad.  Now that the plan is set, he is energized.  So off you go, Mark E. Holm, M.D.!  I hope they can find a bed long enough to handle your 6 foot 5 frame!  Probably not…

Since many of my blogs are about the unique gifts of each Myers-Briggs personality type, I might as well reveal Mark’s type.  He is an INTJ, the master of focus, hard work and ingenuity. I know he will use these strengths to bring relief to the victims of this earthquake. Our family is very proud of him!

I have a very poor sense of direction.  I have driven down roads that have turned into pastureland.  I have taken routes that I thought were correct  only to find myself miles away from my intended destination.   I have ridden on the wrong subway or hopped on the wrong bus so often that I am usually surprised when I get it right.   I have been lost so many times that I  usually don’t say, “I’m lost”. Instead I say, “This is not the most efficient route, I know, I know…”  One of the roadblocks that I frequently encounter is that I usually don’t know where I am in the first place!  Where is Point A in relation to Point B?    Poor topographical orientation (the cognitive scientist’s way of saying, “You don’t know where the hell you are!”),  is an effective analogy to describe how many of us feel at during our lives. Where am I? Where am I going?  How do I get there?

The answer to the question, “How do I GET there?” in life is as varied as the maps and gadgets that are available to help us reach a physical destination.  Deciding what tool provides the most effective guidance is really dependent on several factors including how familiar we are with the area, our general sense of direction, or whether we want a map or written directions. For that matter, we may have a preference for north-south/east-west directions versus  left-right/”turn at the Target store on the corner” type directions.   I have found the GPS system to be most helpful but believe it or not, I had to learn to actually listen to it before it was of much use to me.  The point is, what we use to navigate our surroundings is a matter of personal choice.  One must seek the most understandable and the most effective option. (more…)

The Mysterious INFJ has been one of the most visited posts on this website (I know this because a writer can access this information on Google Analytics).  I have received many emails from readers who share this personality type or believe that they may share the INFJ preferences (Introverted Intuition/Extraverted Feeling) but have not verified it yet.  Usually an MBTI assessment and a dialogue with a certified practitioner will settle the matter.   I asked a client of  mine   to share a few reflections on what it’s like to be an INFJ and he graciously offered these reflections (although in true INFJ style, he felt he could have done a better job!): (more…)

Everyone procrastinates; some do so rarely and others battle it all of the time.  For some MBTI personality types, particularly the ENTP and ENFP types, procrastination is omnipresent.  For these types, there always seems to be a monkey on the back or an alligator snapping at the knees waiting to be addressed.  That is because these two types have   extraverted intuition as the dominant cognitive process. The ENTP and the ENFP are always scanning the external environment for something more interesting, amusing or new.   The brain is literally lit up when a new experience is present and conversely, it is lulled to sleep when an old task has to be completed or is excessively repetitive.    People procrastinate because they can’t find the focus to do what needs to be done.  In the world of a dominant extraverted intuitive, possibilities present themselves almost constantly with procrastination being a natural byproduct of these distractions.

Now what happens when an ENTP type and an ENFP type, two professional procrastinators get together to get work done? Here is the amazing story of Lockdown 2010.   I am an ENFP and I had work that had been hanging over my head for 6 weeks.  My friend, an ENTP,  had a project that had hung over her head for much longer than that.  We both knew that we would feel the sense of accomplishment once it was done.  However recall,  taking something off the “TO DO” list isn’t necessarily the driving force that spurs a dominant extraverted intuitive into action.  It’s the newness. The fun. We can start off with the best of intentions but easily get sidetracked by something interesting to read,  lunch with a fascinating companion, a new project.   Anything is better than dotting the “i’s” or crossing the “t’s”.   We knew we had to make it fun. (more…)